Happiness.. Lets define our own..

While talking to a special mom I realized how well we know each other. We hardly talk and never met but could talk for so long and felt we have known each other forever. More than that we get what the other person is going through. I met another mom last week and another one week before, first meet but again it was something we all felt, the connection.

During that conversation one said how she is tired of seeing everyone’s rosy and happy life, while her world is falling apart. How Mom’s groups are not her thing as she feels lonely even there. How Facebook’s happy world makes her irk for her son’s very limited world. It did make me think. At the same time, I am guilty too. I don’t post my dark days or write about not so happy days in detail. I feel I post enough of Anand’s life on public platform, but shouldn’t embarrass him more than that. I write about hope, optimism and focus on his abilities than things he cannot do. I think I ask everyone around to do the same, focus on good things in life.

I am happy if shaving is done without too many fights, laundry has gone in the hamper, he has done his exercise without argument, dishes are gone in the sink without too much nagging, I get a hug, and there are not too many arguments about everything.

Today I am happy mom, an accomplished one to that matter. I made Mooli (Radish) and Methi ( green leaves) parathas and Chicken curry with cashewnuts. And My son ate those, did you hear that?? Anand ate those with curry. He tried three new things and loved them, without any bribe or too much noises, I feel like I am the best chef in the world, and on top of that he was OK with me taking those pictures.

This happiness may not last long, we might have a messy morning, things might fall apart tomorrow afternoon and a meltdown might ruin every bit of happiness I am feeling now. BUT for now, I am holding on to these happy moments and cherishing them. Sending hugs to all those mom who didn’t have such a happy evening but want to tell them that they might have a better evening tomorrow, day after tomorrow, next week.. just keep working and hoping and things will fall into place. Not your neighbor’s or that another mom’s but your own “custom defined place”, till then hugs to you all.

Dream and Vision - Life is all about that..

We always talk about family and its strength and what it can do to any person, let alone our kids. Believe me its all about our dream and vision.
While chatting with a friend last week he mentioned how a small company was falling behind in its production, packaging and shipping. One weekend families decided they all will help and over the weekend everyone got together and things were done. I couldn’t stop marveling the idea. Imagining the scenario only helped me cheer up and write this post. If one spouse and one kid could come together, it’s 3 times more productivity. At the same time, it became family time, one could meet the other people who work with their husbands, wives, fathers or mothers and get an idea of their long day. It must have brought the sense of belonging and owning. The same day I was in a Transition conference hosted by ARC of Massachusetts. The key note speaker mentioned the role of the family and what it does to any kids not only our Special kids. Every time I go to any of these conferences I come back more with clarity of the thought that vision and dream of the family can do wonder. When I wrote the post “knowledge is the power” I knew it was my mission to educate moms whatever I knew. Because knowing What we need to do is winning the half battle. That conference taught me few things. Self-determination is our children’s right, they have a right to dream and fulfil that dream. No one can say to them not to dream. No testing, no doctors no one else not school districts for sure.
As a parent we must be not only supportive but show them the path to that dream.
To the moms and dads out there, keep driving your kids crazy if that is needed, keep fighting for them, keep dreaming with them and yes keep that in mind that you are the best advocate for your child and no one can take that away from you. Keep learning and keep fighting for what is your and your child’s dream..Because.. It starts with a dream and then only becomes the reality.

Mom's Night out - it was all about our kids not Moms.

AANE Mom’s night out..

When I walked into that room I was just a mom whose name tag said – “Jaya, Franklin, 17 yrs old son” and other than organizer I knew no one. After two and half hour when I walked out I was related to everyone in that room emotionally and knew everyone and everyone’s story and everyone’s fear and their hope. By the end of that evening we were just one. We were just Moms.

I was introduced to AANE years ago, It was far from home and somehow, I just couldn’t make it to Watertown. I didn’t explore much but met two of the directors during one of the event year before. When I was between Job I volunteered with them and got to know more about AANE.

This picture is at AANE gala. That night I was in awe of human goodness all over again. People just not opened their heart but their pocket too for a cause.

When I got the email about Mom’s night out I so wanted to go. Friday evening drive to Boston is not fun but one of the organizer kept me in the loop and I was excited to be part of that mom’s gang. I was on the road that day with many things going on and finally I made it to the venue, half an hour late. I am so glad I did. That evening I got to meet some incredible moms. With so much going on with A and his IEP and School I so needed that support. I think “you are not alone” thing just keeps us going, makes us a better and fighter mother. I felt very supported that night. It was a different Mom’s night out in a way. and all of us was different but exactly the same. All the AANE team members talked about their services and future plan and I was amazed how determined they are to make things happen for many of us. Having a special need child can break a family but all of them rose above the challenges and made sure they help everyone so other don’t have to go through what they did.

Please visit their website, be a part of the community and donate, volunteer.

This saree is a reminder of a bigger vision, hope and promise to help many.

“Gentrification.” are you a victim of it? Ajey's case study.

This year Ajey decided to take a break from usual summer internship and I wasn’t a very happy mom. But he had his reasons, he has been interning since 8th grade and must do the same next year as he will be looking for a job year after so this was his only chance to take a break. a summer to do what he wanted. He wanted to write, a full time writing project and see what he can do for society. He has been working on this idea of Gentrification and I didn’t find it attractive enough for full time writing. I warmed up to the idea mostly because I knew I cannot changed his mind. He was Ashish and Jaya’s product; how can he do what everyone else does
Last weekend during a dinner a friend casually pointed out something. That’s what happens when a friend from your past (like high school) meets a friend from your forties. They talk about you. what you were thirty years ago and what you are now. The old friend mentioned that you were kind of different person then and the “now” friend agrees that you are somewhat not so usual person even now. That conversation couldn’t have happened at a better time. To remind me that my son is somewhat.. what I was thirty years ago. He is a man with passion, empathy and desire to do something better for the society.
Proud to present Ajey’s independent study project. He is working on the topic of “Gentrification.” I am amazed the way he comes up with idea and look at things differently. I couldn’t be any prouder. I am not even sure if I could analyze things this way even at my age but he sure does.
Here it is - his two episodes. The first episode is about general idea what his friends had to say but the second episode is about Franklin. Please take time to listen and comment your views and ideas. I cannot thank my friends enough to give their time and support my son. Well, that’s how you define the saying.. It takes a village
Let me know if you have anything to say and would like to talk to him about this or any other topic.

Episode - 1
https://www.ajey.space/…/perfectly-nice-neighbors-ep-1-intr…
Episode - 2
https://www.ajey.space/…/perfectly-nice-neighbors-ep-2-case…