Thursday, February 21, 2019

Mom's Valentine Meet.. Thats what we are for each other..

Every month I go through the same emotional ride. Driving to Moms dinner is always exciting and nerve-racking.  Many of them meet for the first time. I feel the excitement of meeting new moms at the same time I feel nervous thinking they should have good time. They are leaving kids and husband behind they shouldn’t feel it’s waste of their time.
It was a little different this time. We picked a new town, new place. Total new locality and I knew it will not be a large crowd. Also, we didn’t have a private room to ourselves.
110 Grill @ Braintree,   agreed to host us in a semi private area without extra cost. It’s a very busy place on any given night so walking in I knew very well that it will be totally different experience. soon after I met other moms and we all felt we have known each other for such a long time. The usual introduction and simple conversation soon turned into our life stories. My condition “not too much about kids, it’s about you” is really helpful to open up to new people. We are so used to talk about our kids and their needs, we forget that someone exists in us too. The “me” is buried under responsibilities. With such a wonderful server, we enjoyed our meal and conversation equally. Many of us were meeting for the first time but soon we found more similarity and familiarity than newness. We huddled in the corner so we could listen to each other, a sight for other people in the room and laughed that being creative is another name of special need moms.
We heard each other’s life stories and found something to connect and inspire, promise to meet again and do better for ourselves. Nine mothers walked out of that restaurant feeling the warmth of friendship and support.  I think for me that was the biggest take away for the night, finding the light by the end of the tunnel, not alone but together, holding each other’s hand and sharing the strength.

Dad and Anand discussing the best way to clean the drive way. 


Because I didn't want to post Moms' picture I decided to post my meal to represent the diversity in the group .


A Bengal Taant for the night..A dear friend went shopping in Calcutta for me..She is my middle school friend







Saturday, February 16, 2019

Various shades of a day.. A different Friday.

The sun doesn’t always start one’s day. The happiness can come in various forms not only sunlight. It could a be a phone call or text msg : ) today was one of those days for me. A promise on its own form. Something to look forward to and all of sudden the end of work week sounded so promising. My boy was coming home for the weekend.
My drive to work was usual chatting with mom and sister and keeping up with what is happening with them back home while Mehdi Hassan accompanied in the back ground today. At the same time, many of to-do list going on in my mind. 
When I left work, the Friday had a different mode. It was about choices we make, the wishes we have or what we want from life. what we SHOULD do and what we WANT to do. I can step back and question everything I did or do. It’s about what ifs and why not. But in the end that the life isn’t it?

By the time, I was home my mind was somewhere else.
It’s such a treat to walk in home seeing your boy ready with a cup of chai. Having him home is always heartwarming, he is a wonderful company for chai to begin with. And the conversation flew toward a movie night and surprisingly we could drag dad too. A quick fish curry was dinner. During dinner Anand was a flat out NO for the movie and today for the first time I didn’t feel guilty even for a bit. Decided to leave him home and go for movie with the other two men. Ajey is not a TV or movie guy so 3 of us going for a movie is not heard of. On top of that Bollywood movie. Now I am so happy that we did it.
Walking in to the cinema hall I was very nervous about the movie. After all I was dragging two very hard to please men. But in the end, it turned out to be one of the best movie we ever watched. If you get a chance don’t miss “Gully boy”. Watching Ajey connecting to movie in various ways was very intriguing. I felt like a queen sitting between two men I adore. It was an experience in itself.
Coming out of the cinema hall with both the men on my side I was a happy woman, not questioning anything and learning to live with whatever my life is about. On the way back home Ajey was relating various aspects of life to Rap, racism and identity and most of the stuff I couldn’t relate to may be due to different time and upbringing and experience. But I was happy to live through him.
The evening contained so many thoughts that every one of them deserve a post : )
But tonight, it’s all about dream, wishes, and reality and choices. Watch the movie and you will know what I am talking about.


The perk of being a mother to these wonderful boys. They keep me grounded. otherwise I would have drowned in fantasy world as a dear friend called me a typical dreamy pisces. 


A simple fish curry and roti and my boy was a happy man. My facebook status said with this pic-
"Happiness redefined 
Not sure what he meant when he said - so happy .. I missed home..
Wonder if he is talking about me, his bed or fish curry on the plate !!"


and this hard to please kid was all smily and happy talking about stuff with his brother. I could convince him that his mother was taking selfie.. My making faces helped. He didn't know that his mom had different agenda.



 A screen shot from the Gully Boy movie, a wonderful experience having both the men my side.



#gratitude

Tuesday, February 5, 2019

The real winner today..

"You look pretty, What is so special today?" As soon as I walked into office the security person asked me. She and many more must be wondering what’s up with me today. And I told everyone the same thing, 60F on a February day and Superbowl win and Parade today was the reason enough to drape a beautiful saree. No one needed to know that behind that broad smile I was hiding my anxiety and fear.
The story continues.. from Yesterday.
Last night the bag was ready, the phone and backup battery were charged. Anand and I looked at the parade map and with the google map we figured out the route for them today. I love travel and playing with map and locations. For the first time I was transferring my knowledge to my son, who, for a change, paid attention to what I was saying. It was a busy day with many pieces to fit and I was impress that he got that really quick.
Going to see parade wasn’t as easy as hoping on the train and going to Boston.
Anand had to go to his class in Mass Bay community college in the morning, then taking the subway and coming back the same way. Keeping track of time and location as the parade was for about 90 minutes only.
So we ran through the details one more time before he headed back to his room. Dad was the only one who could sleep right away despite having a day off today. Anand and I stayed awake late in the night. I wasn’t sure what was bothering me. I could hear him in his room too.
His teacher sent me email this morning wishing Anand for a wonderful day in Boston and telling me how excited Anand was in school yesterday.
This morning when I left for work, Anand was awake. I drove to work thinking I should have taken a day off to go with him. 
Ashish was kind enough to text me throughout the day to update and I am yet to listen the “Anand version”
Anand did get into his class, then uber was on time to take them to train station. Even with Green line having issues they made it on time to Copley Square, saw the parade ate something and with one green line and two bus rides and a uber to Mass bay college and then drove home.
I think they spend more time commuting than doing anything else. Anand always loved taking bus and train, today with so much trouble with subway he did good. It was a gorgeous day in Boston with unusual warmth but apparently, Boston had issues with trains and subways.
I was concerned about crowd and noise but he showed flexibly and worked around unpredictable issues with ease and grace.  Those pictures were proof how far we have come.
A happy son, hope fully has more stories to tell. He surprises us, amazes us and leaves us wondering what’s next.
This Dabu block print saree, a gift from a dear friend, was just not about looking pretty or something special, it was about a journey, a reminder how things fall into place mysteriously. I think that’s what life is all about.

 Thank goodness for 60F.. 



 The Bus ride.. Apparently on the way back they took  a train and a bus and train again just to reach Riverside station.


I so want to get into this head..

 Finally the riverside Station.. the Uber driver didn't want to wait .. advance booking can backfire some times. so the wait begins for the next ..

 6.30 AM photo that's all I could get. the warmth of friendship kept me together.. a blue Dabu Block print.
#AutismAwareness



Monday, February 4, 2019

Another kind of win..

The Sunday night was exciting in many households across united states. And I know for sure many in other parts of the world were up at odd hours to watch the football game. The Super Bowl Sunday was special for us New Englanders. It is one of the most talked about events in united states. Last night Our Team won 6thchampionship. 
Pandeys were not a sports fan at all to begin with. Slowly dad and Anand started enjoying the football and from last couple of years it’s their way of spending cold Sundays. If Patriots are playing Anand will watch the game. I have seen him enjoying more and more every year.
He has been more aware of the whole sports world and keeping track of its social media presence. Last couple of years it has been chips, drinks and cake party. We hang out at home on Super bowl Sunday and enjoy the game. I meant them.. Ajey and I still are boring people when it comes to sports. From last couple of games, I could hear Anand screaming shouting and commenting on game. After the game, he would analyze with his dad. 
This Sunday was no different. He went out with dad for shopping, Special football cake, drinks and chips. By 5 PM Pandey boys had turned on the fire and started partying. While I was busy cooking and cleaning upstairs, I could hear the discussion and talk and excitement from basement. After the game, I could go down and be there for few minutes and not understanding much will come back. But I was notified that it was a slow game, defense was wonderful and for 3 qt of the game nothing much happened. Meanwhile we cribbed about not so fun half time show. I was done with my stuff and finally decided to spend last 20 minutes of the game with the boys. I didn’t get much about the game so he tried to explain and I was blown away. Anand not only knew everything but was able to explain it to his sports illiterate mom. I still don’t understand how patriots got 13 points from 3 then 7 but I know it was fun because my son was so excited and proud about it.
But wait.. this post is not about that win .. its about which follows.
Tomorrow Anand wants to go to Boston for Patriots Parade.  THIS is the biggest win for me.. My son is ready to go to the city where million plus will get together to celebrate the historical win. His excitement and pride is winning over the uncomfortable crowd and noise. Dad is taking a day off and the boys will hop on the green line and go to Boston. I am not sure what tomorrow brings but for now my heart is so full. We have a long way to go but willingness to experience something totally new.. That’s the super bowl win for this anxious mom. I hope he enjoys his class and they find parking at train station and find a place to watch the big show and come back home happy.. Stay tuned with us J

Now 


Then