Competing priorities - what did you choose today?

A friend mentioned how exhausted she was. In her 50s, her energy and stamina are something one can feel jealous of. For me, it was hard to hear a powerhouse woman feeling so low. We talked about our kids, husband, families, parents, and the work we do in our respective communities. Amidst all of these, we agreed that "I" doesn't have any place on that big list. What do "I" want as a human being? The constant juggle between wishes, desires, expectations, and responsibilities overshadows everything "personal." We wondered about the choices we make every day of our lives. Would we do the same again, or will we keep a place for our own wishes somewhere?

What do you think about it? What is your priority today? What was yesterday, and do you wish to change it? What takes over? The work? Home? Kids? Partner? Did you really choose them, or did social expectations play a role?

A cotton Paithani for a meet, where many women chose to be with each other on a Sunday , rainy, snowy evening for themselves. We all were just fun loving women having good time, not thinking about dinner, kids, husbands, home or work- for a change. 

Anand at the end of our driveway waiting for his ride to go to work. 

An evening for self care, empty theatre - we went to watch a movie on a lazy Sunday night.

 

What does it feel like to be vulnerable?

Most conversations start with "How are you?" and we often respond in a robotic way, saying that we are fine. But are we truly fine all the time? This question has been bothering me. We tend to hide things from our spouses, families, friends, and colleagues. The fear of judgment makes us very private and lonely.

It takes courage to admit and accept that things are not going the way we hoped, whether it's in terms of work, health, finances, relationships, or anything else. I completely understand not opening up to strangers or colleagues, but what about our families and close friends?

People around us might have solutions for things we cannot see. I learned a long time ago that I cannot do things alone, so I surround myself with smart people who make up for my missing pieces. I admit that I know nothing about many things and reach out for help.

I usually trust that people give advice with a good heart and genuinely want to be there for me and my family. I've always believed in the concept of a village and have built one for us.

What do you do? Do you shut down when you feel alone? Seek help? Reach out to friends and family? Or do you fight your battles alone? 

An Ikat for a musical night. Recited Faiz and Ibn-e-Insha. 

Anand takes the public transport to work - GATRA, Its a pickup on demand service. We never knew that it existed as on demand. I asked for paid drop off/pick up help in our town Facebook page and this was one of the most suggested option. 

Small happiness- Big enough to make it a celebration

 I am not much of a New Year celebration kind of woman; Pandey gatherings are boring in that sense. All of us fell asleep by 10 PM. If it were not for Anand, there would not have been anything going on.

Our New Year's Eve afternoon was spent with a family with a toddler. It was so much fun to have a baby at home; he kept all of us busy. I am glad the parents could take a little break.

For the last couple of years, Anand has been in charge of the New Year's Eve dinner. Simple meatball pasta, chips, salsa, and coke was on the menu. The whole family sat together without the TV and phones, laughing, talking, joking, planning for the coming year, and that was the biggest celebration.

New Year's morning was a big deal as we got a family picture; Anand agreed to be in it. On Monday morning, Anand had to work, and Ajey was running in Salem. Mr. Husband and I went to be with our firstborn. I did everything I wanted in my new year: a family pic, a drive with two Pandeys, coffee with Mr. Husband while Ajey was running, a quick meet with an activist mom, lunch at Ajey’s home, shopping with Mr. Husband, some TV, and then dinner with friends. New Year’s Day was the perfect snapshot of how I want my year to be :)

I wish you all happiness and health, time with friends and family, and some hugs and care for you. What is your mantra for this year?

Before 

and After the race !!!

A pochampalli Ikat , a repeat, thats what I want to do this year, No new saree shopping.