Friday, September 29, 2023

Gentle parenting - The way you decide to raise your kids

"Gentle parenting is an approach that encourages a partnership between you and your child, making choices based on internal willingness rather than external pressures.

Last week, I spent some time with a friend daughter I've known for over 25 years, who is now a mother of two young kids. I was amazed to see how patient she was with her toddler, constantly talking and explaining things. As I observed her, I couldn't help but express how wonderful she was. She explained the concept of gentle parenting to me, emphasizing the importance of validating emotions, listening, offering choices, and finding a middle ground.


Our conversation got me thinking that I had been a regular mom without reading books, studying psychological concepts, or taking any classes. I did whatever I felt was right. My husband certainly treated our kids as individuals and didn't impose his choices on them, while I alternated between cajoling, pampering, threatening, and scolding our boys when necessary.


I followed some of my parents' ways and let go of things I didn't like from my own childhood. There is no definitive right or wrong in parenting; we do what is possible given the circumstances and situation. We all have regrets and wish we could change things in our own or our children's childhoods. I certainly could have been more patient and calm, spent more time with them doing different things, read more, helped with schoolwork, traveled more, and cooked less.

What do you think? Are there things you would do differently? 

A beautiful silk from a saree friend, She was visiting Boston from India, doing her own parenting thing, settling her daughter in a new city, thousands of miles away from home. Trusting she did the right thing.



 I know I did whatever I could but given a chance I will do million things differently with these two. 
 I saw this dad playing with his daughter in a distant corner when most of us were enjoying eating and drinking at a friend's cook out. This remained with me for a long time and while writing this I had to dig out this pic.



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