Super Bowl weekend - Sunday Feb 7th-

Written on Feb 7th Sunday 

In our household we have no control over emotional overload. May be we dont need much to be happy and never know what makes things worse. Anand has those challenges and even knowing that I find it difficult to cope with it. I on the other hand can over react too. Ashish is stuck with the balancing act most of the time. No wonder he is a darling dad. 

This Friday was one of those days, Anand missed an important meeting and thing gone downhill in no time. We are trying to teach him to use online/ electronic calendar and it makes him angry every time. when asked about it, he just went into defensive mode and there was nothing we could do.

He needed some time to sleep on it and we could talk about it before dinner. 

Saturday was off to a good start. He agreed for a family pic and that was really big deal. I know i cannot stretch much so was happy with whatever I got.

Somehow things were in place for Pandey men. I on the other hand was a restless soul thinking about impact of that missing meeting. I did what was needed, Draped a saree and drove to a nearby Pond with my Tea. Lucky for me Franklin was warm and sunny.  Jagjit Singh, calm, tea and water - all I needed was those 20 mins away from everyone else. I finally could write something about Jagjit Singh for his Bday.

Today was Super Bowl Sunday, One of the most watched sporting event in United states, 

In a long time my household is not buzzing with patriots buzz. Anand and Ashish sure are ready for Super Bowl  but we all know its not the same as Patriots are not playing. But Brady is there so offcourse their evening is going to be fun.

Ajey and I are other boring people who could care less for sports. Its a special Sunday for new ads and few glances at screen here and there and some drinks and food - that is Super Bowl Sunday for me.

This morning began as usual with news and our governor Charlie Baker was there to send off  76 health care workers from all six New England states, flying from Boston to Tampa on one of the Patriots planes. It was a moving and very empowering moment. People who risked their lives to save many more - every day for almost one year now. day by day everyday. 

The amazing leaders of our state - Governor Chrlie baker and  Mayor Marty Walsh has shown what compassion and empathy really is.

My Sunday is made and Patriots you are already a winner in my heart.

I am thankful to have many of those selfless people in my life. My friends you know who you are, please know you are my pride. 

The plans were made so this morning Pandey boys started their busy Sunday. Upama, Sandwiches , beacon, meat, potatoes and onion rings and chilli. we live on a ranch so all 3 of them went downstairs to enjoy their day after lunch watching everything about game since then. I was a happy woman, having the whole house to myself. Got dressed to join a virtual celebration of Maestro’s bday. cleaned and just enjoyed my time alone upstairs.

PS- I couldnt post this for few days. so decided to do it today and thought you should know Team Brady won the Super Bowl. 

Calm after the storm. The Friday evening was so messy but Saturday bought the sun and smile. Happens so often in our household and still stirs something inside me everytime. 

The basement and the Pandey men. They went downstairs after lunch.Ajey right there playing his game while other two watching the game. I had to be very discrete while taking picture. but you can see a glimpse of Anand, his box of chips and salsa. I was busy upstairs with cleaning and Jagjit Singh. Dont remember when did I get the house to myself for this long in last 11 months :)

Here I was, right on time for halftime show :) that is my Super Bowl fun :)

 My happy place in Franklin, I needed that to keep my mind and soul in check. Chai, saree and Ghazal. 20 mins thats all I needed. 

 A beautiful chettinad cotton. My quest for sarees from all the state handloom.

Merry Christmas - Holiday cheers - what does it mean for families like us?

*Written on Christmas Night*

Many a times the holidays and celebrations doesn’t mean happiness for us. Depending on what side of the bed we woke up on, things can do downhill in matter of minutes. This morning I woke up and wondered what this day brings to our household.

Pandey men are not very enthusiastic folks anyways. Since Anand got to know the real Santa, Christmas just turned into another day off. When kids were young I did all the tree stuff and gifts. For quite a few years now the Black Friday is the Christmas. All these years we did some lunches and went for dinner who ever invited. But somehow as a household we are becoming very boring family, It feels too much work.

This year, its different for everyone, we all have so much family time we all are craving for some human interaction other than family. Also the day falls on Friday so long weekend brings more time in hand. It also was one of the warmest day for winter. Unfortunately torrential rain cancelled the scheduled outdoor Saree meet, and a scheduled zoom call got postponed too. 

Morning began with Ajey’s cooking lesson and somehow Anand brought the holiday cheers. He was happy, cooperative and excited. we all had lunch together. The day was really fun. Then everyone needed their TV/Phone/Ipad time to regroup. Anand wanted to go see the Christmas light and I would do anything for a drive. it was rainy evening but somehow there was a happy star and men agreed for a family picture. That was a holiday miracle for me. His excitement sure forced dad to drive 30 mins all the way to Attleboro to see the lights. I am so glad we did. It was lot of fun. No rain, warm enough evening and hot apple cider that was our Chritsmas. As I call it a day I am grateful for this holiday cheer for us. I wish you all the better week ahead and hope everyone in your home gets up the ride side of the bed. 

The family pic - Highlight of the month may be - Anand smiled and that was a big deal. all of us happy and smiling. So rare for pandeys, who cares if one of them wasn't looking at the camera. Thank goodness for self timer.

He loves to pose for his insta, NOT for mom's

Somehow the men agreed to be in pic. I couldnt make them change or wear something Christmassy.But it was okay as is- I am learning to accept that. 

          Another family pic - well what can I say, I cannot get enough of them

My boy came to hug me good night. The perfect end of the day ,

 well my day began like this - Saboodana Khichadi by Ajey and carrot Halwa by Ashish. 

A beautiful saree gift from a friends - someone who helped us get through very difficult time, loss of a very dear friend. he was right there when Ashish and I were grieving. We lost him when Ajey was 4 days old. I came to Singapore with 2 months old Ajey and met a new friend who shared the name and the care and love for us like his namesake . His presence was very timely. We are very fortunate that his wife made place for us in her heart too. Every time he travelled to Boston her love and appreciation came in form of bhakharwadi, chitale sweets, Puran poli and saree. 

Dilemma of school opening

 August mid week is all about school shopping and planning. By this time we all are ready for the kids to go back to where they truly belong - in school.

This year it feels so strange. The question is - do we want our kids to go to school or not?

The neuro typical families will have to consider childcare, schedule, transport and after school. but safety of children prevails and parents are choosing online learning but special needs families worry about all of those plus regression. I think that concerns us most.

Moms Network WhatsApp group is buzzing with messages full of confusion and worry, lack of decision making. Moms don’t even know what to do. I remember when this havoc started all of us struggled with the “what to do with the therapy sessions and providers”. Everything  was so new and unknown it was hard to think beyond the “right now”.

But now when we have been in this for over 5 months, we all are not only scared but also tired and concerned. Our kids are regressing and that is difficult to watch and imagine what will happen if our kids are home for another 6 months. In Anand’s case I know he IS home for the next 6 months. Bridgewater State university has decided on the online module for the program he is in. I feel for the families with severely impacted kids, Medically complex kids, difficult marriages and single parents.So many moms are worried to keep kids home and scared to send them to school.

Friday, on a trip to Cambridge , I went through that difficult phase. Anand was invited for an outdoor socially distant Bday celebration for one of his classmates .He really wanted to go and I was happy for him that he was INVITED. How rare that was in his life a few years back . So I wouldn’t have stopped him anyway. We took him to Cambridge, let him enjoy the meal but I kept wondering if everything will be oK, will he be safe. 6 of them wore masks when they met but took it out while eating. Seeing him enjoying, laughing, eating and having a good time was an absolute joy but at the same time I kept wondering about how close they were to each other.

Please be kind, remember we all are going through something we have never seen, imagined before and don’t know how to react to and manage the whole confusion.

I loved going to Cambridge after months, a simple cotton saree made me forget the knots in my stomach. Hope for a better tomorrow. 

This post is a tribute to every teacher in my orbit. I know they are dealing with all these and some more. 

Uff those eyes. I was so lucky he let me take a picture

Pandey men ..I could never imagine such empty street on Friday evening in Cambridge

All we need is -'Something" to keep us going. Find what is "that" for you.

Day 14 and 15 ( 03/26 Thursday and 03/27 Friday)

After Wednesday’s storm Anand and I were getting better on Thursday. Anand was getting adjusted with the idea of routine. We both promised to be kinder and nicer to each other. Restricted screen time is on for now, let’s see how many day it lasts.

Thursday and Friday were kind of letting things go days. my sink could remain full of dishes until Anand did it. The clothes are still not back in the closet and I am shamelessly spending time on computer or TV. making sure we all are showered and not staying in our pajama’s - thats more important than washed dishes.

We all are walking on our own mostly but walking with Ashish is becoming highlight of that day. Thursday was one of those days.

Thursday Morning Ashish made Poha for breakfast. a big pan. it could be our breakfast, lunch and dinner may be. I decided to make it breakfast for 3 days. Lunch was simple sandwich and dinner was fried rice by Ajey.

I have started making groups for video chat. Cousins and school friends, college friends, families from both side. It has been fun. India lockdown is helping in many ways. Everyone is home and have nothing much to do. and somehow they didn’t think of doing this so my idea was very welcome. Started with 4 people of what’s app chat to 8 of us on google hangout.

Watched  “Aftermath” and still wondering what was I thinking, I just couldn’t finish the whole movie. Time to find something better.

Friday was very tough on me. I heard about a couple in our community being hospitalized. Its been going on for last couple of weeks but not it hit home. I was keeping track of numbers too and was very depressing to see its growing. Nothing helped my mood. I think I really need to hear something good everyday to keep its going and keep me sane.

The high school friends group was fun chat. we all agreed not to talk about the bad news and focus on whatever good we have around us.

Ran the idea of sending our “bad boys list” to a friend who is a boss in Police. On the name of “144” she can take our revenge :) we all laughed and made fun of old days. and promised to meet soon in person.

Stuck at we all need chai and something stronger to survive everyday so made Chiwada to go with it. forgot to take picture of Dal I made for dinner. I think the words  are all over the place like my mind. Played Jagjit Singh for a little bit before I hit the bed and that was helpful.

Hoping for a better weekend. 

Last summer I spent a day in CapeCod, I was at the beach early in the morning, just to feel and see the view from life guard chair. I still remember the calm. JS playing on my phone, no-one around and sitting that high I felt how beautiful the world is. Today I so want to hold on to that feeling.