Parenting.. always a "what if"

Watching “Dangal” today was an experience. It is a very well made movie with everything perfect. It defines feminism to another level. My non-Indian friends may not understand but any sports for women was never a choice (even now that is not every parent’s dream for their daughters), wrestling .. absolutely no no. On top of that a small town in North India. Everything about this is beyond dream for women.
I was spell bound, not just because of story or acting. More than that it was so close to home. For me it is not only about the real life story of Phogat sisters, It is about the definition of parenting. The father in the movie raised four daughters and made them believe in themselves, how wonderful is that.
We are four sisters and I am the oldest one and have seen everything very closely they have shown in the movie. The social pressure of having a son, the disappointment of not having one, not able to fulfill the dream of our own, the expectation or no expectation from daughters. How their courage troubles people all around, how everyone is just watching for just that ONE mistake, how everyone in society expects girls to get married and have kids, how the girls are told to do whatever they want in their husband’s home not at father’s. How father and mother are not the one to decide, the whole neighborhood and relatives have a say in every girl’s life. How no one cares to help the girls dream big, beyond measures and let them do whatever they want to do in their parents’ home. No one understands (even women in the family) that a girl is never allowed to do whatever she wants in her husband’s home, she should have the right to live her life in her parent’s home. I can go on. Things turned out differently for us, all four of us. But it could be better in many ways. I wish every daughter's parents could get a manual to raise independent and strong daughters.
Don’t get me wrong, parenting is hard either boys or girls, but daughters need to be treated differently because in future they will raise  sons. How a woman is raised decides what kind of mother she would be.
I have two boys and I think I treat them differently because I don’t want them to a biased father. I make them do chores around the house because I want them to NOT only believe in equality but live it. I want them to be a father, a partner who believe in treating women better.
It’s all about the choices we make as parent. If we want a better world we need to be better parent for our daughters. We need to believe in them, we need to give them a safer home where they can dream beyond the sky, we need to give them tool to make their dream a reality.
Its interesting how a movie can open old wounds, heal some and make us think differently.