It’s hard to believe that Four weeks has passed since we said good bye to Amma. I am not sure what is “closure” but a sense of loss is all around me. I miss her physical presence and ablity to call her any time I want.
I have been writing Amma stories but I guess I need to verbalize the depth of loss I feel.
Amma and I had been talking about death, wish, what to do when she is gone over a decade. I remember starting this conversation during my India trip in 2012 after my accident. I was there with kids and on my third day during my early morning walk I was struck by an SUV. It was a close call and it shook both of us over.
My parents have been very progressive in their approach as talking about death and “after we are gone” is still a taboo in our society.
They expressed and updated their wishes over the years and we sisters have pretty good idea about their desires. Things changed and evolved but not without open conversation.
In the past month, I've come to appreciate the importance of these conversations more than ever. They serve as a reminder that nothing is forever, it’s crucial to focus on what is important to us today, tomorrow and after we are gone.
I finally dragged myself out for an award ceremony for the employees of an organization I serve on the board of. It was heartwarming to meet people being recognized for their selfless work. Amma would have loved hearing all about my evening.
Amma @White Mountain - 2006 Visit
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