The canaries - a tale of inquisitive Ajey

Last night we watched “Zero Dark Thirty"

Ashish and I watched it in theaters but many a times watching at home helps and this was one of those movie. Ajey loves history so he sat with us too. My rule follower son Anand refused because it was rated R.

So we started movie and it took longer than its course. So many side references and we had to talk about it. Ajey was 4 when 9/11 happened but he amazed me with his knowledge. I know he is similar to me in many ways. ( though I am so glad he got his dad's Math and Science brain) we both love to read things which are useless and have nothing to do with us. Google and Wikipedia links have the power to take us anywhere. We both wander around and when we come back to reality we realize how much time we “wasted”. 

Last night was one of those reminders that it is never useless, we gain knowledge, it may seem useless at times but it is indeed some information.

So we were watching the movie and talking. He knew many details and events, but the most amazing detail for me was " the canaries" those were the special planes that took the seals to kill Osama Bin Laden.

And I just said why name them canaries- Ajey replied - the canneries are the bird used in coal mine to assess danger. If they stop chirping you get out. And we moved on to the movie. But this one thing got stuck with me. Those tiny little references, minor details they all have those Wikipedia, redit, twitter and face book stamps on them, he not only reads, he remembers and uses them when needed.

I know it might sound like I am bragging about my son. Please, believe me we had been through enough of fights when we both didn't agree on anything. We both thought the other one thinks I know nothing or I know everything and you don’t understand me :)

But this time I do think my 17 yrs old does know many things and I have no idea about them.

PS- People who are new to my blog - Usually I post about our life with Anand - my 14 yrs old son on Autism Spectrum. I feel Autism is what defines us as a family. Ajey is my older son, he is 17 (going on 40) and loves Math and Science, words are his strength. He wants to be an Engineer. Today I thought I should write about him here.

What does happy look like...

We lost a very dear friend 17 yrs ago, pain and memories faded but one of his statements is still stuck to me – "you plan 100 things but only 101st thing will happen. We can dream and imagine all we want but end would always be something different."

 My weekend trip to Boston with Anand was just a reminder of it. 

I spent my Friday with Ajey in NYC and thought I should spend my Saturday with Anand in Boston. As you know we cannot MAKE him do things, we had talked about it and planned. Things were OK till we reached train station. It was a beautiful Saturday and I was so looking forward to a nice day in Boston with him. All of sudden he just didn’t want to go. With the Aquarium pass and a train ticket in hand I just didn’t know what to do. I tried all my options, bribes and “if not” finally he gave up so he wouldn’t lose his videogame time.

A very dear friend just suggested me last week not to talk to him at all when he is angry, pacifying the situation with autistic kids is just not a good idea she mentioned. As train left the station I took a deep breath and just reminded myself to leave him alone for the next 3o minutes. He was very angry so sat on the other seat and just looked outside the whole time. I think that helped him, he loves the train.

Meanwhile I helped a tourist couple to find attractions in Boston and plan their trip, when we reached backbay he asked for Dunkin coolatta to “calm him down”. I told him we would help those guys to find the stop and then we can do whatever he wants. He agreed and I knew we are in a better place.

A large Coolatta was a blessing that day, he was much better and asked what is the plan for the day.

We sat outside the station and talked what we can do. The sun was shining and it was much happier by then. We talked, said sorry to each other and promised that we will have fun. And then one extraordinary day began; we went to Aquarium, spent time on Kennedy way and went to Hay market. That was the high light of my day. My son who hates shopping spent his 25 minutes shopping with mom and helped her carry the stuff. The next stop was Boston public library. He was HOME. He loved reading book for an hour and I was soaking in the happiness. I enjoyed just watching him and pondering what was going on just few hours ago in his mind. I had to remind him that it was time to catch the train back home and without a word he packed the book, stacked them in right shelves and picked up our bags to help me carry my stuff. We talked, laughed and decided we should do it again.. …a mom son time... I guess we will do it again without the meltdown .. 

and yes - the HAPPY looks like this -