“Boys are doing great, I think it’s me who is
slipping away” and I had to stop what I was doing. I had my own demon to fight
and was not in my zone so started cleaning the pantry. That’s how I thought of “S”,
a special mom from west coast whose OCD was motivation for many, who’s carefree
ways made many people chuckle in the morning. And While I was cleaning and
thinking about her, I realizes she was missing from Facebook for couple of
months. I am glad she responded to my text and called as soon as she could. She
needed someone and I am glad I was there. We talked about many things, how politics
here and back in India was the major cause of our irritation, how we could sometimes
be lonely having 100s of friends in life, how things don’t make sense and how “what
ifs” is our destiny and how some time future seems so daunting.
I cannot focus on one thing, I must do
multiple things at ones so my cleaning was going on, the laundry was being done
and chicken was on the stove too. But after her confession I had to just stop
everything and sit and listen to her, LISTEN to her my heart said, she needs
you. And then it hit me.. how difficult it is for a strong woman to say that.
She is one of those. She lost her parents and is an only child, having three
boys, twins on spectrum. The rich and fast life of west coast is no help
either. It must have taken a lot of courage to utter those words. We talked
about various options, ways to deal with things, possible solutions and if
nothing works she is more than welcome to come to Boston and stay with me with
the boys. We laughed, joked, grumbled about life, husbands, kids, parenting,
motherhood, womanhood, house works, relatives and everything under the sun. It
was therapeutic and after that hour and half we both were happy and ready to
deal with the world.
Later in the day I sent her a picture of Anand
having dinner and right away got a text –“See, we have a bond. After I spoke to
you my day went by so awesome, I spoke to husband and he said to look for
ticket to Boston soon.”
This whole conversation forced me to write
about this. How we ignore our own health, how we want to fix everything and don’t
even realize that we are the one who are slipping away, we are the one who need
someone sometimes. It’s not only our kids who need some therapy, we do too. It doesn’t
have to be shopping, spa or vacation or couch in someone’s office. Sometimes it’s
just a phone call, a hug, a kiss, a poetry, a new song from a friends collection, a dish from a friend’s kitchen, a pantry
cleaning afternoon, a coffee, a drink on workday afternoon, a dinner without
kids, a movie or just a walk. Find whatever works for you at that moment but I
urge you to find it, look for it and just ask for help. Don’t let it slip away,
you don’t want to because not only family needs you.. YOU need yourself too.
Below is the image - A summer afternoon in cape cod. My Facebook status said-
When you forget everything in the world and enjoy the moment.
and son catches the glimpse of real you.. at that ONE moment when you are not a wife, mom, daughter, sister, friend, partner or anyone else ... Just YOU.
Happiness redefined..
Summer 2017.
I grew up in central India MP, saw the ocean for first time when I was 24.. and lived close to ocean since then and Imagine I am a piscean..Water does something to me
and son catches the glimpse of real you.. at that ONE moment when you are not a wife, mom, daughter, sister, friend, partner or anyone else ... Just YOU.
Happiness redefined..
Summer 2017.
I grew up in central India MP, saw the ocean for first time when I was 24.. and lived close to ocean since then and Imagine I am a piscean..Water does something to me
and my view was spectacular...