Friday, February 22, 2013

Who is your friend?

You meet people, some stick with you and some just fade away.
Sometimes they just make you feel that you are there as you. It may be a temporary feeling but at that point nothing matters for them just you.
I met some very wonderful, smart, funny, caring women yesterday. Some of them I met for the first time. They all are moms to wonderful kids but at that time they all were there just as friends. They all talked about kids, movies, TV  and schools.
 I was there just listening and was enjoying that conversation. So many times I felt I don’t belong there but many times I felt that I JUST belong there. It was a very comforting feeling and then when I talked about my boys. It was funny how all of sudden I felt I am in the right place. Many of them didn’t know me but it didn’t stop them from being there for me. It was not a support group for special moms but they made me feel it was. Their suggestion, their instinct and observations helped me look into different side. No doubt it was an underground network of moms who love each other and love each other’s kids.
Some time you feel that you have known people for long time, some of them you meet often but you don’t get that “feeling”, but at the same time you meet people and they just connect to you.
You are right “DH” – “These are wonderful, smart, funny, caring women with awesome kids” and yes I had one of those lucky days yesterday.

Thursday, February 14, 2013

When you actually have to walk the walk.

Sitting in that support group room how mad and sad I was. There was a dad with a newly diagnosed kid, how many questions and worries and eagerness to find all the answers, to know what will happen next. How he wanted to know so many things right then and there. And here I was with so many answers and explanations. At the same time I kept on thinking I wish I had this knowledge 8 years ago. I so wish I had taken it seriously, I so wish I had paid more attention and still I wish I could do more. I could have given him my undivided attention, make him the top priority in my life.
But again there is so much you can do without going crazy. I could explain to him so many things, suggest  but when it comes to my own son I go numb and just cannot think enough.
Yes, it is hard to walk the walk on your own, we can show people how to walk, give them support, tools, books and sites but what to do when you cannot walk on your own. Feel helpless or ask for help? And what kind of help when you don’t even know what do you need? Strange isn’t it?
But we have to take our own step. May be one step at a time?