Tuesday, January 1, 2019

Wish you happiness and hope . begining of 2019

Listening to a dear friend singing I didn’t know what was making me so low. The melancholy lyrics or melody I was tearing up for no apparent reason. More I think of it I realize fear finds an outlet and just catch you off guard. I was really thinking about a difficult 2018 and by Monday I was so ready to bid good bye. Had a busy Saturday so we took it easy next day and Monday had a very simple dinner with few friends. We all have been friends for 19+ years. Our kids grew up together. This time of the year they all come home from their colleges and jobs. So heartwarming to see them together, talking, eating joking.  We have celebrated their 1st Birthdays to many milestones together. They all are such wonderful kids and having them under one roof is such a treat.
Last night many of them sat in the living room. Anand was as usual ready to take his plate and eat in his room. 8 adults and 5 other kids, it would have been little busy for him in our dining area and living room. One of them asked Anand to join them for dinner and Anand agreed. That was one big deal for me. I have always loved to cook for these kids but it’s becoming rare that Anand enjoy the food with everyone. So It was wonderful to see him with everyone. After the dinner, he took his iPad and went back to his room. I tried to persuade him for little more time but in vein. Keeping him away from his video didn’t look good so finally he did retire to his room.
I was in such a happy and sad place at the same time. Kids talking about whole world and him missing all this fun bothered me but at the same time I was happy that atleast he enjoyed dinner with everyone.
A beautiful Sunday morning welcomed 2019. Such a beautiful start ..2018 ended up gloomy and rainy but warm sunshine changed the whole demeanor for me. I went for a walk and got ready. A dear friend hosts the New Year party for years, a fun afternoon every year for me and Ajey.
And somehow, I decided to ask Anand knowing very well it will be a no. He hasn’t been there for many years so I explained and surprising he agreed. A quick shower and fresh clothes my son was ready to join us to an unknown situation. I was pleased that after coming out of car he took his ear plugs out, went in, greeted the host and then took a plate. Chips, cookie and a brownie. He sat in the corner and enjoyed the snack and drink. After that he did put his head phone and sat in the quiet living room and read some book. Once we all decided to leave I just threw the idea of him walking on a beautiful sunny day. To my surprise, he agreed and walked all the way home more than 2 miles.
We drove past him and I wondered about the change in my mood. This vacation week I felt happiness, excitement, sadness, worries and hope- all.
Like it wasn’t enough Ajey decided to go to Hindi Movie with me. My son who doesn’t like watching TV or movie at all went to see a total time pass movie in the theatre with his mom and enjoyed it. I have given up on Ashish long time ago but today I found a new partner..
This day cannot get any better.
So bring it on 2019 – my boys are making my world better and better everyday.
I wish you all the same.
Time flies.. our babies are all grown.

Anand sitting in Pat's living room, I could only sneak the picture from back.

then he found his quite corner.

I am a lucky mama if I can make him laugh.. even now. Ajey and I .. I changed and rushed to the movie.. not believing he agreed.. 2019 got me partner for movie.. I am already loving it.. May be short lived happiness but for now I am a happy mom.