What does financial literacy mean to you? Are you independent ?

A daughter lost her father, her grief turned into agony seeing her mother struggling with her late husband’s finances.

Her mother had no idea about how he was managing his money. What and where he invested and how will she access that. In a way she didn’t know how much money he had left for her.

And then it daunted on her that she was not much different than her mom. It made her realized that even though she was a working woman here in USA, she just “earned”, it was her husband who was “managing” the money.

Covid sure made her question the arrangement she had in the house and when she shared her limitation and concerns with her friends, they were in the same boat. Division of work they called, a wife will take care of in-house responsibilities and husband will worry what to do with the money.

She felt her mother was actually a “norm” a perfect representation of typical Indian woman profile when it comes to finances.

She and her friends decided to do something about it, Not only educating themselves but doing with a group of women . 

They talked, planned and started a non profit “Purple Wings” to initiate the real financial literacy for women around them. I was invited to their first meeting. I know I also belong to those “independent women” tribe but actually I don’t know how independent I am. I do know things about our family finances and aware of where we are but usually I don’t enjoy money matters so I am involved on need basis. Sure can pick up if needed but that meeting sure made me think of my responsibility as an equal partner.

What is your take on it? Do you believe in financial equality and what is that equality means to you?

What bothers you most ? What are the two things you would like to learn about?  

Saree is a bengal taant 

These ladies had some very intriguing questions and ideas. I so looking forward to our next session.

I talked about importance of will and health care proxy. They could relate to my conversation because I talked about my sarees, shoes and jewelry. how important it is for me that they go to right people after me :) I sure gave them an assignment - inventory of things they care about. 

That was my morning, an independent woman went to see sunrise on her own because Mr. Husband could care less. Now I need to be independent on other aspects too.

 

One day just for myself - Poet and his poetry -Gulzar Show

 I should be writing about having Anand back home and things we are going through. But for a day I decided to forget everything else and remember just what made me feel myself. An evening of poetry, love, romance. Gulzar ( a poet from India) did that to 100s of us in that auditorium that night. Took us somewhere else  away from reality. 

Many of us were in awe of his energy, enthusiasm and  offocurse power of his words.

He recited many of his nazms, talked about controversial topics, people in his life and made people in the auditorium to fall in love again. For me his association with Jagjit Singh mattered the most and somehow he didn’t talk much about him, He didn’t recite any of the ghazals he wrote for Jagjit Singh and the singers didn’t sing any ghazals ( which I wont complain about, I am not much fan of anyone else singing Jagjit Singh’s ghazals anyway)

He talked about his love for Mirza Ghalib but not about Jagjit Singh and somehow I was disappointed. Got an opportunity to ask him a question so I asked about his association with JS, I kind of twisted his arm and that was the highlight of the show for me.

The natural dye Ikat will remind me of that evening, The power of words, the excitement, the butterfly in the stomach, the romance , poetry does that to someone. 

गुलों को सुनना ज़रा तुम सदाएँ भेजी हैं 

गुलों के हाथ बहुत सी दुआएँ भेजी हैं 

तुम्हारे ख़्वाब से हर शब लिपट के सोते हैं 

सज़ाएँ भेज दो हम ने ख़ताएँ भेजी हैं 

-Gulzar

My article in Inda New England about the show read here 

https://indianewengland.com/who-is-this-word-magician-gulzar-a-preview-of-his-boston-event-this-sunday/

Who Is This Word Magician Gulzar: A Preview of His Boston Event This Sunday

By Jaya Pandey

Who is Gulzar, actually what he is – that is the question with different answers.

 If you love poetry and anything bollywood – Gulazar means more than words can express.

ये कैसी उम्र में आकर मिली हो तुम?

बहुत जी चाहता है फिर से बोऊ अपनी आंखें

तुम्हारे ढेर से चेहरे उगाऊं, और बुलाऊँ बारिशों को

बहुत जी है कि फुर्सत हो, तसब्बुर हो

तसब्बुर में जरा सी बागवानी हो

मगर जानां, इक ऐसी उम्र में आकर मिली हो तुम

किसी के हिस्से की मट्टी नहीं हिलती

किसी की धूप का हिस्सा नहीं छनता

मगर अब मेरी क्यारी मे लगे पौधे

किसी को पाँव रखने के लिए भी थाह नहीं देते

ये कैसी उम्र में आकर मिली हो तुम?

Gulzar was born in British India (now Pakistan) in 1943 as Sampooran Singh and today at almost

 88 years old he is beyond many accolades, trophies, awards, degrees and even the Grammy. 

An author, director and lyricist are some of the ways to define Gulzar, but for me he is a magician . 

A magician who makes you believe in complex emotions in a very simple way in Hindi, Urdu and Panjabi.

 His poetry reflects various layers of life, love, sadness, romance, pain and much more.

He has written stories for around 60 films and directed 17 movies, each one a masterpiece. 

 Amongst his many accolades he has won the Sahitya Akademi Award for Urdu, Padma Bhushan, 

 Dadasaheb Phalke Award, 5 National Awards and 19 Filmfare awards and of course the Grammy.

Gulzar’s first song was in movie Bandini “Mora gora ang laile mohe sham rang de de”. 

Since then his pen has given words to everything we call life . 

As a poet he plays with words to define romance and “nazakat” and then reminds us of the realities of life

 in a philosophical way.

As a screen writer and director, he challenges us to face the complexity of human relationship. 

He questions the norms of society, the value of happiness and the institution of marriage in various ways.

Ijaazat will remain one of the most prominent cinema in this last category forever. Now to think of it 

I am in awe of his mastery in using flashbacks to the best.

I can write about his songs, movies, poetry and many more writings but for me his collaboration with 

Jagjit Singh takes over everything. It is my personal opinion and many might disagree but this friendship

 created something amazing.

Mirza Ghalib was way beyond his time, his poetry couldn’t have reached the next generation

 if not for the DoorDarshan series about him in the late 80s. That was my introduction to Miraza Ghalib

 on a whole different level and I cannot be grateful enough to the Jagjit Singh, Gulzar and Naseeruddin

 Shah trio.

My love for Jagjit Singh and his ghazals grew over time, their collaboration made me look at Gulzar 

differently, beyond his songs and movies. Together they have given words and voice to so many

 ghazals and  TV serial theme songs.

I can list the movies and songs and ghazals but that’s not the point here. 

This post is a reminder of an opportunity of a lifetime to see the legend in person.  

I cannot wait to hear him say something, recite something and who knows those words are

 just written for us, to give us a new direction. Come join me in welcoming Gulzar sahab in Boston

 for an evening of poetry, music, romance, ahsas, ibadat and Ijaazat.

The celebration - Whatever makes it special - Anand's Bday saga

 This weekend is special in a way. Anand got back home after 11 months of living on his own at CIP ( College internship Program in Lee) We got him home yesterday and today is his birthday. 

He wanted to order Dominos pizza and watch a movie, kind of what he did last year. A week later we went to the city to eat at one of his most favorite restaurants - Wahlburgers. Ajey came home last night and this morning when Anand talked about staying home Ajey could convince him to go out with all of us. He could eat Dominos tomorrow. Anand wanted nothing but Wahlburgers.

Ajey had gone to a friend’s birthday party last night, Mr. husband and I drove to Lee and came back with Anand and his stuff. A very long and tiring drive. And then we went to a friend’s home for a great dinner. We should have cleaned the home this morning and put away Anand’s stuff but we took it easy. Everyone got new phones so morning was spent at the Verizon store followed by lunch and a nap. Pandeys went to Fenway to celebrate Anand’s birthday.

The restaurant was not too busy and he wanted to sit at the bar, telling them it was his birthday and he was very excited to sit at the bar. He wore his W shirt and cap to show how much he loves the place.

The staff was wonderful, one of the wait staff remembered that we were there last year too and she was the one who took our pictures. After our dinner they got Anand a cup cake and a hat as a gift. 

I sat there watching my son, happy and smiling and enjoying the attention. Right then and there the staff made him feel special and made his and his mom’s day.

As I wrap up this day, feeling grateful I want to ask you to be kind and show empathy . You never know your one kind gesture can change the course of the day for someone.

Written on July 16th

 Our morning was spent in Verizon store, Hour and half, 4 phones to backup, change and do the paperwork.but was worth the wait. 

This was us last year  and the Post is here

http://momlovesanand.blogspot.com/2021/07/anand-and-wahlburgers-21st-bday.html

New beginning - for Ajey and many memories for us

The first born moved to a suburb last weekend, ok Melrose is not so suburban the way Franklin is but still it is a change for all of us. After living so close to city it will be an adjustment :)

2 days , hours of driving , packing, lifting, moving - it was an experience. It triggered a lot of memories of times gone by. Mr husband and I didn’t move too often but 25 years of our life was special in many ways. We were 24 when moved in together in Pune. Sounds cheesy but we got married. He tried to convince me to do that too, I should have agreed :) 

Then to another place in Pune. From there we moved to Singapore then here to US we were in Norwood for 4 years and finally settled down in this home in Franklin. I couldn’t stop thinking about all those moves and what it meant in our lives. So many memories. 

Now it’s our son’s turn, to choose, to plan, to search where he wants to go in life. Last year “close to the city” was his aim. After spending 2 years working from home he chose to enjoy the life in the city. 6 months in the city and he changed his job to a northern suburban town. He loves his job but commute took much of his time and moving was necessary. In the last few months cycling became his hobby so “bike trails” and nature became his search criteria. One year of living on his own made him a different man. Melrose fits his budget and needs. 

The changes are tough and sometime welcoming for all of us. This month Ajey moves to a new place and Anand comes back home after spending a year in CIP, Lee. As a family we are going through a lot of changes. I am excited and apprehensive both and  looking forward to seeing my boys grow.

Ajey still has his apartment in the city. I spent a weekend there. Wait for more stories on that.

When he moved to Chelsea I was very happy that he was so close to one of my favorite food place. We went there for a new beginnings lunch last year and the move could not be completed without a good bye lunch at the same place - Santarpio you never fail to please my heart and soul. 

A saree meet right after 3 crazy days in Boston. I was dead tired but couldn't resist the get togther. and I am so glad I did . it was lot of fun, food and chit chat 

A Wedding celebration - what is your most or least favorite memory

 My last four saree stories were about a wedding celebration. For this wedding three of us close family friends traveled to San Francisco- to be there for groom’s mom. 4 of us have raised our kids together, have been friends for quarter century. Seeing one of the kids getting married was an experience. We all cherished our time not only the wedding but with each other too. Seeing our friends celebrating their son’s wedding to a beautiful and smart girl was a real joy. My friend’s  pride, joy and wishes were so apparent in her speech.

The wedding in the afternoon at Botanical Garden in Golden Gate Park was an intimate affair, a beautiful sunny afternoon. Ajey, I and 2 other friends of ours decided to skip the cocktail hours and went back to hotel to change. California Academy of Sciences was the venue for the reception.

The reception plan and decor was classy and showed how bride and groom paid attention to every details. For those couple of hours we all were in euphoria in a way. Fabulous speeches from siblings and parents and then the couple was a reminder how wonderful life is when filled with love, gratitude and admiration for others.

One of post about wedding ceremony trigged a conversation about what a wedding really means. I heard from my friend too that she was so busy “doing” things that she couldn’t pause and enjoy. She didnt eat much, couldn’t see the decor or did fun stuff. She was busy being the grooms mom and was making sure everything went well. She wanted all of their guest to be well taken care for but in that she missed lot of happy moments.

Do you think we spend too much energy and time in that? We as host forget to pause and enjoy? Do we worry about things more than we should? We all have those stories of unhappy in laws or guests who are never happy and complain about everything. 

Do you remember those incidents from your wedding?

Ajey and I for sure had great time, we ate, drank, danced, met people and simply enjoyed being there for bride and groom. Our body wasn’t happy but our heart and soul sure were. But that’s what life should be - right? party hard when you can :)

Jaya Auntie was ready after the reception for after party 

The view from the rooftop bar