New beginning - for Ajey and many memories for us

The first born moved to a suburb last weekend, ok Melrose is not so suburban the way Franklin is but still it is a change for all of us. After living so close to city it will be an adjustment :)

2 days , hours of driving , packing, lifting, moving - it was an experience. It triggered a lot of memories of times gone by. Mr husband and I didn’t move too often but 25 years of our life was special in many ways. We were 24 when moved in together in Pune. Sounds cheesy but we got married. He tried to convince me to do that too, I should have agreed :) 

Then to another place in Pune. From there we moved to Singapore then here to US we were in Norwood for 4 years and finally settled down in this home in Franklin. I couldn’t stop thinking about all those moves and what it meant in our lives. So many memories. 

Now it’s our son’s turn, to choose, to plan, to search where he wants to go in life. Last year “close to the city” was his aim. After spending 2 years working from home he chose to enjoy the life in the city. 6 months in the city and he changed his job to a northern suburban town. He loves his job but commute took much of his time and moving was necessary. In the last few months cycling became his hobby so “bike trails” and nature became his search criteria. One year of living on his own made him a different man. Melrose fits his budget and needs. 

The changes are tough and sometime welcoming for all of us. This month Ajey moves to a new place and Anand comes back home after spending a year in CIP, Lee. As a family we are going through a lot of changes. I am excited and apprehensive both and  looking forward to seeing my boys grow.

Ajey still has his apartment in the city. I spent a weekend there. Wait for more stories on that.

When he moved to Chelsea I was very happy that he was so close to one of my favorite food place. We went there for a new beginnings lunch last year and the move could not be completed without a good bye lunch at the same place - Santarpio you never fail to please my heart and soul. 

A saree meet right after 3 crazy days in Boston. I was dead tired but couldn't resist the get togther. and I am so glad I did . it was lot of fun, food and chit chat 

My children - my world, my pride and inspiration

 The Pandeys socialized like anything last weekend. Diwali at home, then dinner next day at a friend’s , next day in Boston and a lunch on Sunday as well as another moms dinner meetup.  It was a beautiful weekend in Boston, some of the unusually warm days in November, not that I am complaining.  Ajey, my first born , had as difficult a time as everyone else. A 23 year old stuck at home with parents and a brother, working from home. We survived the time with whatever tools we had in hand. Ajey worked and also wrote a RPG game in his spare time. He made a good chunk of money with that kickstarter. This August he moved to Boston and started living on his own. I was worried but happy for him. My son had to handle all this expenses, household chores, work and responsibilities. He has a good  head on his shoulders so I was kind of ready for him to be on his own.

So my son spent his “extra” money on a watch, a very good, mechanical, German  watch. He was going to pick it up on Saturday and mom decided to tag along and dragged dad too. So we went with him, not knowing anything about the watch or the shop.

Watching him dealing with all the formalities was a real joy. I won’t write much about it but it was interesting to see how he makes decisions on his own with his own logic. Do I agree all the time? No. Do I see the logic behind his thought process - some time yes, sometime no. But I remind myself that at his age I was married, had taken one of the biggest decisions of my life. I at least enjoyed walking around Newbury street and a coffee after the shopping felt celebratory enough. I decided to document my pride and joy to remind  myself that he is a grown man and will do whatever he makes up his mind to. I need to stand by and let him learn. After all his mother didn’t listen to anyone when she was 24 :)

A simple silk bought in 15 mins from a shop in Nagpur.

Empty Nesters Saga - How do you come to terms with the emptiness.

It’s been 4 days and it is still sinking in. The house is quiet and there isn’t much to do. The cleaning ladies changed the direction of the bed so Anand’s room looks different. The curtains are up so it is full of light too and I am leaving the doors open.

When we dropped him off and came to hotel 10 minutes away I didn’t have any plans . We checked in and I took a nap, a much needed break.  We stayed in Great Barrington and after waking up we left for Simon’s Rock and Lake Mansfield. So many young kids were playing in the water while the parents were watching, reading, snacking and chatting. It  was a soul soothing sight. The evening sun was kind. After that we walked around downtown GB. Barrington Brewery was our next stop, the first drinks of officially empty nesters.  Then we drove to the nearby town of Lenox, a quiet historical downtown and I enjoyed walking around. One thing about the Berkshires , most of the shops are closed on Monday. Also somehow we didn’t see too many youngsters.

The dinner was back in GB at a Mediterranean restaurant called “Aegean Breeze” in an outdoor setting with beautiful weather, that’s all I needed that night.

Next morning was all about a fabulous breakfast overlooking the mountains followed by a hike on Melville Trail. Mr and I are not hikers so you can imagine but how can you NOT hike in the Berkshires so we did try. We went up for about 40 minutes or so and then decided to come back down. The river walk was my favorite part not the hiking. We drove to Pittsfield and I was amazed to see the city. It is one of the biggest downtowns , a 2 mile loop. An outdoor Mexican lunch in downtown was very well deserved. 

Later in the afternoon we decided to head back home. So many people had talked about the ice cream farm in Lee so had to stop there. The hardest part was driving away from that town. Anand will call home now. I didn’t stop at his apartment on the way home and that was an achievement.

The icecream was a treat and I loved every bit of it. A drizzle made sure we get back home and not roam around any more. 

The empty nester saga continues, stay tuned.

A silk saree from a friend's closet - Pic is taken by a girl who was in diaper when we moved next door, She was wearing a saree yesterday for her mom's Varlakshmi Pooja. Such a feeling

Goodbyes are hard - time to practice "Let Go"

 Last week I decided to document our count down for Anand’s going to a new program this year. These posts are my daily blogs. Past two weeks were eventful in way to say the least. Ajey’s moving to city and Anand to the Berkshire I hope for the best for my men.

 Monday we all woke up and got ready to start a new beginning. The 2 hour drive was quiet and calm with no traffic. After checking in we got into his apartment and unloaded the stuff, organized his room. Anand opened his bank account and I walked in the area aimlessly thinking this would be my son’s “hometown” for this year. So many changes in all our lives and hoped it will help us grow.

His roommate’s mom brought so much stuff and I felt guilty for not doing enough. But I know my boys are minimalists , they don’t need much.

We had packed lunch in school and then a parents session about “what to expect”. It was very interesting to hear about everyone’s concerns but one thing was very evident in that room. All of us were hopeful and worried at the same time. We all had been playing so many roles for our children and all of a sudden we were leaving them in someone else’s care.

Ashish and I stayed in the area for another day to explore the Berkshires. We drove around, walked, ate and visited a brewery as “empty nesters” officially. But at the same time I couldn’t stop thinking about Anand. I know it will take some time. But for now I am determined to have a new beginning for me too. I am hopeful that my boys will do just fine.

Tuesday - It was so weird waking up in the hotel room and realizing that Anand is just 5 miles away and slept in a different room, away from home, which will be his home now for the next 10 months. 

Ashish and I enjoyed our breakfast overlooking the mountains, then did some hiking and took a long drive around various towns in the Berkshires. After lunch we headed back to our newly “empty nest”. My evening was spent putting away leftover things, packing supplies and all the empty boxes. My dishwasher is still full as Anand used to empty it. I decided not to do it tonight. Tomorrow will be a new beginning for mom too.

 Reading this was heart wrenching I wish I had this manual 24 yrs ago. I do feel I would have done things so differently. This piece of paper was one of the hardest to read.