What kind of people you are surrounded with?

A conversation, a phone call, a message or a Facebook post can stir many questions. I always believed in having friends very close and the people who don’t give me a good vibe stay little (may be more) far in my orbit. 

I was going through some old pictures of various meets of the Desi Moms Network from over the years. I could see the gradual changes, most of the moms didn’t know each other. Slowly they found their people and how comfortable they are with each other now. The pictures tell a whole lot if you look closely. The group grew and many subgroups emerged when people found same interests and passions. These pictures of smiling and laughing moms made it all worth the time and energy I put in building this village. They teach me something new every day with every conversation.

But again there are people who drain your energy. I was going through some pictures from another group where people pretended to be friends with each other but actually it’s all very superficial . 

What do you do? Hang out with real friends? Keep some close to party with ? Some for show off? Some for heart to heart talks? Some to share secrets with? What do you do with toxic people? What is your criteria? Do you let your instinct decide for you? Do you listen to your heart or mind?

A simple silk for a Saree meet !

Do you meet people for a reason? Discovery Museum Saga #2

 Last night we had a “Especially for Me” event in Discovery museum. I have written about that event earlier so will not repeat the details. But this time it was bigger and better in so many ways. 27 familes came to the museum and for the first time in my life I saw so many Desi families with special need children under one roof in that kind of a setting. I have been to so many of these events and come across very few Indian families who attend them but last night I was pleasantly surprised by their attendance. Smiling, laughing and happy moms , dads connecting and children having a great time- it was a wonderful sight.

A dear friend connected me to the director of the museum a few years ago. I was invited for the museum’s gala and we thought of collaborating. I got busy expanding the group and then the Pandemic happened. A few months ago an email from them again pulled me in that direction. Their director of community partnership responded to my email and now it’s history how our first conversation was the impetus for this event to happen. 

She is from India so she understood our cultural needs and went above and beyond to make it an experience for our families.

I really marvel at these coincidences when you connect with people whom you never knew and before you know it their presence in your life makes it wonderful.

An uncanny connection - I was ironing my saree and somehow I thought of calling a friend from my Saree group who lives in that town, next to the museum and while talking she mentioned that her dear friend works in the museum. I knew instantly we both were thinking of the same person. Not too many Indians work in museums. With all the happy memories from last night and witnessing shock and pleasure at seeing our mutual friend with me at the museum will stay in my mind and heart for a long time. 

#Gratitude in my heart.

Wonderful Ms Community Partnership Director 

The amazing Staff  

the 3 friends :)

New Years - do you believe in making resolutions for the new year or is it just another day

 I was about to write and thought of checking my last year’s post. Reading that made me smile, Pandey’s haven’t changed much. 

This year again we did the same thing. Ajey came home for the weekend, none of us are party people and as usual decided to stay home. Anand cooked meatball pasta for everyone and we had that cheesy meal. After dinner he decided to retire for the night. He did stay up very late and watched YouTube videos and the 3 of us decided to watch “Knives out”. We had all watched Glass Onion last weekend so watching the prequel again was important so we spent our New Years eve watching a New England movie. 

The New Years day was lazy. Our family is still dealing with the loss. I wasn’t keen on making too many calls or messages anyway. 

Anand wanted to drive to Boston and that became “the” plan for the day. Pandey’s hopped in the car rushed to North End, walked around, enjoyed the lights and performance in Quincy Market, had a drink, ate and came back. Pretty simple weekend routine. No resolutions no promises no big plans.

A beautiful, warm afternoon made sure I walk on the first day of the year, I hope that’s a good beginning.

How was your long weekend, what is in your list, are you making some promises?

A brunch at a dear friend to start the new year on Monday, A saree from Tripura, Mom asked a friend to get one for me.

The saree made me feel wrapped in love and the brunch was for body, mind and soul.

The Chef on New Year's Eve

 Pandey's in Boston on New Years

Only one pic of all 3 men 

A fabulous Brunch with wonderful people

Are you ready to be a Mother in law?

 When you are in your 20s, you celebrate engagements, weddings, and then birth of their kids with friends. 30s are filled with birthday parties and school functions. 40s are about high school graduations and then once over 50 you get your friend’s kids wedding invitations. This year I got more of those than graduation or birthday celebration invites. 

Last night I went to the reception of a dear friend’s son. I have seen the “process” for almost 2 years. The son gave his mom the responsibility of finding the right one for him. I hear more from that generation ( including my son) how difficult finding a person is and pandemic has made it even harder. A few years ago I would have been surprised to hear that parents needed to be part of this process but I do see how difficult it can be.

Well, I am so happy that both the families got connected. The bride and groom are really happy so is the groom’s dad, a newly minted father in law. I hope my friend got a chance to enjoy the wedding and the reception because she really was very busy getting things done for months. A big fat Indian wedding in India and a grand reception here within a month really takes a lot of effort. 

My first born was my plus one for the reception and we talked about doing the same thing for him too. My son wants us to get involved. Ashish and I were 24 when we got married and our son wants the same for him except his parents didn’t need a match maker. I guess I have to up my game and start looking for that Special person for my son. 

 What is your story? Did you find your partner or your family found one for you. A Kanjivaram to celebrate my friend's status upgrade :) Ma to Sasuma 

PS. Ajey's profile is ready :) Have a look and let me know if you have someone in your mind for him 

https://ajey.space/great-to-meet-you

Celebrate Joy and Happiness this holiday- Invite one family who needs it most

Planning, organizing and hosting an event is fun and exhausting. When families like ours get involved one cannot predict what will work and not. One size doesn’t fit all in Special Needs world. So trying to plan and execute something with many possible scenarios and age groups needs a powerful and diverse team. I was very fortunate that some of the moms from the Desi Moms Network took that plunge.

After our Dilwai party the group was excited and wanted to include more families.

After many calls to find a suitable and economical venue, with a simple menu and ideas about this holiday party finally the day was here. The families started arriving on a windy breezy sunny Sunday. 29 families came together to celebrate and experience joy and happiness.

What happened that day is another story, two guests and 5 families couldn’t make it, speakers and mic didn’t cooperate , introduction sessions didn’t work well because of the mic failure but by the end of the day all I can remember is a girl and her sibling singing a song, families building connections, meeting in person to thank some incredible people who helped them through phone and zoom calls, telling younger families about their journey and how having a village helps in general for the whole family. 

But the best sight was kids having fun with Santa, they got presents, sang and danced with Santa. A dad from the group dressed as Santa and he played his part every well. He answered all their questions, made them promise good behavior and really made them feel Special.

The families worked together to clean the area and wrap up the leftovers. It was only 3 hours of our day but that time will remain special for the families.

I do want to go back to my original model of empowering Moms and building a community for them but this event encourages me to do the family event once in a while. Stay tuned for the next one. Why don’t you join us and support us in our journey, you too are a part of our village..

The incredible team