Smiles, care, and a Red Wristband : A Day of Belonging Canobie Lake park

Sometimes, something feels unthinkable. Someone dreams, someone wishes, and someone decides to make it happen. People come together and support the idea — and before you know it, it becomes a reality.

An amusement park usually means thrill, screams, crowds, long lines, chaos, and noise — exactly the kind of environment most of our children struggle with.

We were exploring outdoor activity options, and Canobie Lake Park came up. Many families wanted to try, though they were nervous to go alone. But once we decided to go as a group, everything began to fall into place. A few phone calls and emails later, the park team offered us discounted tickets, red wristbands so kids wouldn’t have to wait in long lines, and even the flexibility to bring our own food. They were incredibly accommodating.

Finally, the date was set: August 3rd Sunday

Even that morning, I wasn’t sure how many would actually show up.

But for the first time, no one dropped out last minute — in fact, two families joined at the last moment. Maybe the excitement gave them courage to take the leap.

In total, 29 families came together, around110 people including grandparents and had a beautiful day at the park. There were so many moments of friendship, support, and care. And yes, I’m sure there were moments of meltdowns and chaos too — but those are part of our everyday lives anyway.

Some of our kids went on the rides over and over again. Some never set foot on one — but they walked around and took it all in.

Some spent hours in the waterpark. Others just sat nearby and watched. One grown child explored the whole park on his own, while his mom enjoyed her ice cream — comforted by the fact that she’s not alone on this journey. She has her village.

I’m just so happy our children got a day to enjoy — like everyone else.

I'll write more soon — the good, the bad, and the messy. But for now, I want to stay in this moment of happy smiles, deep gratitude, and the quiet joy of accomplishment. 

The woman, their Guest Service manager who made this possible. 

The first set of family pics, Kids were not ready to wait. Lesson learnt. Dont dream about group pics in amusement park 

The bathroom had the supplies for women 

My Fav ride at the park

A cotton silk for a photoshoot for an inclusive show

#InclusionMatters

#AutismCommunity

#SpecialNeedsParenting

#VillageSupport

#NeurodivergentJoy

#EveryChildBelongs

#FamilyDayOut

#MeltdownsAndMagic

#RealLifeRealLove

#ParentingJourney

#TogetherWeThrive

#OurKindOfDay

How do you deal with disappointments?

Emotions are tricky; sometimes, you can let go of bigger issues and get hurt by small stuff. You can blame hormones, menopause (at my age), situations, kids, spouses, work, boss, colleagues, and weather in some cases. How do you deal with it? What is the way forward, and why does it get stuck, making happiness fly away?

Families with special needs children live with it constantly. The anxiety of not doing enough always lingers, along with the disappointment of not giving the best to our children or them not having the best of ourselves.

In general, disappointments are momentary and may not matter in the long run. But when caused by the limitations our children and their life have, it is hard to put them in the right perspective.

 Some days are just disappointing, and perhaps we need to accept those ongoing challenges.

What do you do to move on? How do you shift your perspective? How do you let go of worries about things beyond your control? A Kanchi Cotton from a friend, Years ago She was given my number and she did call. Apparently our conversation changed the way she handled her disappointments. She said that phone call was a game changer.

I so needed that kind of conversation today.

Wore the saree to meet some amazing moms who will do anything to change things for their children.

On a snowy day, Anand stood on our driveway waiting for his ride to go to work. Some days I am in awe but  most days I struggle to keep this in right perspective, Life is just not fair - not to him not to us.

What is a perfect day for you?

When we as a family plan to do anything, we plan many things, keep back ups and still our life is full of ifs and buts. Unpredictable and uncertain are the words to define a good day. Even though sometimes plans work out  and other times fall apart we keep hoping and planning and learn something new every time about our children and ourselves.

This long weekend was one of those.

We were able to leave home without any fuss and could have a meal in a restaurant without a meltdown, walked around the mall and came back home without an argument or meltdown. Today this was the perfect day for me.

Yesterday I laid out my plan in clear words. I want to go see Ajey and go out for lunch at a restaurant of my choice, might want to stop at the Indian Store and Costco. I wanted Anand to come with us so chose the Burlington Mall area as he loves walking in the Malls. I knew it will work but at the same time I didn’t want to eat at the food court, his usual choice so made it very clear that “lunch together” is the plan.

We all could have an enjoyable lunch, talking, laughing and when he was done he went back to Mall and we followed him. Mr. Husband came to the mall, picked what he needed and went back to enjoy his Netflix in the car. Anand went his way and Ajey and I shopped for me.  Pandeys were enjoying the day in their own style.

Today I figured out one more thing, make an inclusive plan and put it out there so everyone has an idea of what to expect. I didn’t go to the Indian store but Costco still worked out and everyone came home happy and tired. I think I can be a shopper if it comes with a good lunch.

I got to meet two moms from the group in the mall and that was a bonus.

How do you spend time with your family? What is a perfect way of spending your day?

A Tussar Richa from my Sister in law's closet. A day spent with my village. The women who laugh, joke, make fun, teach, learn, support, encourage each other and I am in awe of our combined strength. 

Such a small world, Got to meet two mom from the Desi Moms Network

 then it was time to hangout in Museum of Fine Art with my first born.

Celebrate Joy and Happiness this holiday- Invite one family who needs it most

Planning, organizing and hosting an event is fun and exhausting. When families like ours get involved one cannot predict what will work and not. One size doesn’t fit all in Special Needs world. So trying to plan and execute something with many possible scenarios and age groups needs a powerful and diverse team. I was very fortunate that some of the moms from the Desi Moms Network took that plunge.

After our Dilwai party the group was excited and wanted to include more families.

After many calls to find a suitable and economical venue, with a simple menu and ideas about this holiday party finally the day was here. The families started arriving on a windy breezy sunny Sunday. 29 families came together to celebrate and experience joy and happiness.

What happened that day is another story, two guests and 5 families couldn’t make it, speakers and mic didn’t cooperate , introduction sessions didn’t work well because of the mic failure but by the end of the day all I can remember is a girl and her sibling singing a song, families building connections, meeting in person to thank some incredible people who helped them through phone and zoom calls, telling younger families about their journey and how having a village helps in general for the whole family. 

But the best sight was kids having fun with Santa, they got presents, sang and danced with Santa. A dad from the group dressed as Santa and he played his part every well. He answered all their questions, made them promise good behavior and really made them feel Special.

The families worked together to clean the area and wrap up the leftovers. It was only 3 hours of our day but that time will remain special for the families.

I do want to go back to my original model of empowering Moms and building a community for them but this event encourages me to do the family event once in a while. Stay tuned for the next one. Why don’t you join us and support us in our journey, you too are a part of our village..

The incredible team 

Moms meet - what it means for them and me

Every Moms meet is special in a way. I started with one mom at a time and after almost 6 years, thousands of miles later and 260 moms in the group,  it warms my heart the same way. But at the same time every meet is special for me and for those moms who join for the first time or who find comfort and connection and then there are some regulars who really made some meaningful connection and long lasting friendships because of these meets.

Yesterday was one of those day when I had to sit back and enjoy the feeling - “How far we have come”.

Last year in January a mom started a conversation about being fit and healthy, couple more jumped in and soon enough 30 of them committed to support each other and try for a month. 30 days - thats all they thought. Those 30 days were enough to make them realize what it means to have a village with a purpose. That one month turned into another. One of the first one called out for a celebration and graciously offered to host and finally the date was set. Yesterday was the day after almost 10 months and 37 members strong community met in person. 20 of them ate and laughed together celebrating their wellness village.

The BIG deal was a mom flew from Virginia just to be part of it. She is one of couple non local moms and she met everyone for the first time. That was heartwarming to see her being part of this get together as she belonged to us forever. She is here for the weekend staying with the familes she never met. 

Last night I went to bed with a smile on my face knowing so many of them doing the same, reliving the day and in a better place than the day before knowing their village is right there to support them.

Are you building your village?

 and yes some did wear the saree :)

Expectation of family legacy - what is your story?

 Last night some of us met in a beautiful home. I met the host 21 yrs ago just out of no where. Curtsy internet groups. We remained in touch casually but didn’t meet often. Last night I met their few friends for the first time celebrating their new home. Meeting new people is exciting , a chance to create fresh memories and new starts. Sometime you come home with thoughts of people and food nothing else. Sometime these meets stir some more. 

It was an interesting crowd, they all belonged to one particular state of India, I was a woman out of their circle except my maiden name. They all knew each other, similar ages and background.  I throughly enjoy the conversations and got a chance to eavesdrops the conversation from other side of the room. Yes, the men were busy taking about politics and current affairs. Few things never change in Indian get together :) Us ladies were happy leaving world problems to the men and enjoyed simple conversation about Sarees, our childhood, memories of schools and colleges, festivals and familes back home. 

One of them had a very interesting upbringing. A very educated and activist family with a history of strong women. Her grandma was a lawyer and very much involve in Politics when Indira Gandhi was the prime minister of India. But for me the most fascinating story was the way her great-grand ma suggested her daughter to marry someone of her choice when her father passed away. The family would have married the girl off to any random person to have control over property and to get over the “wedding of a girl” responsibility. The father was a visionary and made his daughter independent and strong but his untimely death made family situation difficult. The grandma wrote the man her father once admired and asked him to take her away.They got married (eloped) in 1946. Imagine this happening in that time in India in 40s and 50s. 

I came back home feeling how amazing it was to hear something like that. I so wish I had an opportunity to meet the grandma, a woman beyond her time. How often a simple dinner stirs the desire to meet people you would have never known about. 

What is your fav get together story? 

A blue no Zari resham banarsi for the dinner  

The conversations there reminded me of my fav breakfast, sweet yogurt with Paratha, The host had perfect home made yogurt. They didn't only feed me dinner but took care of next morning breakfast too 

What is "self care" for you today

 A day off can be used in so many ways and the first thing comes to mind is “self care” but again that could be different for everyone. For me self care for that particular day was to drive 125 miles to meet a few people. 5 mothers from Desi Moms Network invited me to have breakfast with them. They live in Rhode Island and its always hard for them to drive up north to meet other moms in our group. We met for brunch and had a really good time. We all are very different yet same. I think we all were there for different definitions of Self care. One of them said she was agitated, anxious and nervous for a variety of reasons but meeting us calmed her down. Then it was time for another drive up north to wish a friend on her Anniversary with a quick cup of tea. It is surprising how relationships and friendships evolve over the year. Anniversary wish should be with a gift or flowers or a card but I was there with nothing of this sort and made her make a cup of tea for me. And later her text assured me that my visit was enough to wish them happiness.

After I dropped in to see another mom in the same town who was having some health issues . I went to see her but while talking that wonderful woman helped me plan my next vacation. We got  exactly what we needed from each other. Another kind of self care. In that one short visit I discovered my travel advisor. 

I could have gone to a spa ( I would have been restless the entire time I was getting a massage I know) or shopping or sat and watched TV or cooked or cleaned but I chose to do what my heart and soul needed that day.

Last night I went for a music meet and recited two of Jagjit Singh’s ghazals in front of an audience that appreciates poetry and music and that was my self care last night.

Hope you find what is your self care for today, it might be something different for tomorrow.

This could be self-care for someone a view of Boston  

 6 women came together in IHOP to redefine Self care They talked about life, dreams, 

hopes, limitation, films, music, sarees, stories and family too.