When you actually have to walk the walk.

Sitting in that support group room how mad and sad I was. There was a dad with a newly diagnosed kid, how many questions and worries and eagerness to find all the answers, to know what will happen next. How he wanted to know so many things right then and there. And here I was with so many answers and explanations. At the same time I kept on thinking I wish I had this knowledge 8 years ago. I so wish I had taken it seriously, I so wish I had paid more attention and still I wish I could do more. I could have given him my undivided attention, make him the top priority in my life.

But again there is so much you can do without going crazy. I could explain to him so many things, suggest  but when it comes to my own son I go numb and just cannot think enough.

Yes, it is hard to walk the walk on your own, we can show people how to walk, give them support, tools, books and sites but what to do when you cannot walk on your own. Feel helpless or ask for help? And what kind of help when you don’t even know what do you need? Strange isn’t it?

But we have to take our own step. May be one step at a time?