When we dont feel like "fitting"

Yesterday I wrote THIS and got a personal message from a friend of ours -

I know the context is very different ....
But many a times i felt the same. Sometimes one really does not feel comfortable at one place. That really does not mean the place has something wrong , people around are different than you or u r different. There is some sense which tells ... No not here ....
Many a times we act for a while and move on ... And even go there again and feel same way ... But we try to control what our mind tries to tell us.
 Kids usually don't do this ... Unless forced ... Even after forcing one has to just give up forcing ... Because they r just not happy there ...
We should try and make them feel they are lucky .. They are not forced to do anything ...
I wish ... I also can live in same way .... Do only that what pleases me ... Be there where my mind is .... Say what i mean .... And be in position to say whatever comes in mind ..... Most difficult thing .... We directly indirectly apply so many filters ... 
I wish I was so free ...
Your posts usually make my thinking process start .... I read them many a times ... And then keep on talking to myself ... 
This time i am talking to you ...
I usually don't talk to u as my mind wanders is very different direction with the same thread
. Please forgive me if anything i have written is hurting u ... I really care for u and i have great respect for u ..

When I was writing about Anand, only he was in my mind. Didn’t think it would touch any “adult” or “non-Autistic” cord. But it did. I appreciate the above respond which gave me another thought process.. We all are made differently and process differently. “J” is so right that we have so many filters and we apply them to just “fit” in the place. Our mind wonders, fortunately we know how to bring it back but kids especially autistic kids don’t have that ability. When the coach said to Anand -oh well, it was not a day for you but hopefully we will see you soon. And my son just turned into that angry man – “I am not coming here ever” I just didn’t know how to cover this up. The coach has been doing this for a long time so he knew what did Anand meant – he could read in those lines” I don’t belong here”. I felt apologetic and didn’t know what to say.. well, That’s what I am working on and need to learn more – to let my son feel that he is appreciated and lucky even with his differences.

But today I am feeling lucky to have friends around who understand why some times these filters don’t work in our family. Please know how much I appreciate the acceptance of non filtered life of ours..Thank you “J”