Are you slipping away?

“Boys are doing great, I think it’s me who is slipping away” and I had to stop what I was doing. I had my own demon to fight and was not in my zone so started cleaning the pantry. That’s how I thought of “S”, a special mom from west coast whose OCD was motivation for many, who’s carefree ways made many people chuckle in the morning. And While I was cleaning and thinking about her, I realizes she was missing from Facebook for couple of months. I am glad she responded to my text and called as soon as she could. She needed someone and I am glad I was there. We talked about many things, how politics here and back in India was the major cause of our irritation, how we could sometimes be lonely having 100s of friends in life, how things don’t make sense and how “what ifs” is our destiny and how some time future seems so daunting.

I cannot focus on one thing, I must do multiple things at ones so my cleaning was going on, the laundry was being done and chicken was on the stove too. But after her confession I had to just stop everything and sit and listen to her, LISTEN to her my heart said, she needs you. And then it hit me.. how difficult it is for a strong woman to say that. She is one of those. She lost her parents and is an only child, having three boys, twins on spectrum. The rich and fast life of west coast is no help either. It must have taken a lot of courage to utter those words. We talked about various options, ways to deal with things, possible solutions and if nothing works she is more than welcome to come to Boston and stay with me with the boys. We laughed, joked, grumbled about life, husbands, kids, parenting, motherhood, womanhood, house works, relatives and everything under the sun. It was therapeutic and after that hour and half we both were happy and ready to deal with the world.

Later in the day I sent her a picture of Anand having dinner and right away got a text –“See, we have a bond. After I spoke to you my day went by so awesome, I spoke to husband and he said to look for ticket to Boston soon.”

This whole conversation forced me to write about this. How we ignore our own health, how we want to fix everything and don’t even realize that we are the one who are slipping away, we are the one who need someone sometimes. It’s not only our kids who need some therapy, we do too. It doesn’t have to be shopping, spa or vacation or couch in someone’s office. Sometimes it’s just a phone call, a hug, a kiss, a poetry, a new song from a friends collection, a dish from a friend’s kitchen, a pantry cleaning afternoon, a coffee, a drink on workday afternoon, a dinner without kids, a movie or just a walk. Find whatever works for you at that moment but I urge you to find it, look for it and just ask for help. Don’t let it slip away, you don’t want to because not only family needs you.. YOU need yourself too.

Below is the image - A summer afternoon in cape cod. My Facebook status said-

When you forget everything in the world and enjoy the moment. 
and son catches the glimpse of real you.. at that ONE moment when you are not a wife, mom, daughter, sister, friend, partner or anyone else ... Just YOU.
Happiness redefined..
Summer 2017.
I grew up in central India MP, saw the ocean for first time when I was 24.. and lived close to ocean since then :) and Imagine I am a piscean..Water does something to me 

 Next day I was at the beach at 6 AM. A day before I wasn't allowed to sit on life guard's seat during the day.. Guess what.. It was all mine that early in the morning, A cup of coffee and Jagjit Singh's ghazals were my companion for next two hours.

                                                  
                                                 and my view was spectacular...