Celebrating Republic Day -A Day of Honor and Gratitude

I am deeply honored to stand among such esteemed women at IAGB’s (India Association of Greater Boston) celebration of India’s 76th Republic Day.

Making a difference, supporting families, and being a source of comfort during difficult times is truly fulfilling—but it can also be exhausting and overwhelming. Events like this ignite our passion, recharge our spirits, and inspire us to strive for more each day.

A heartfelt thank you to the IAGB team for this incredible honor and the warm felicitation, and to all of you who came to celebrate this occasion.

The Desi Moms Network family is immensely grateful for the recognition and support.

Having Anand in the auditorium with me made it even more special. Sharing this moment with my son was truly priceless.

This day was even more meaningful as I wore my mom's kanjivaram saree. I thought of her many times throughout the event and felt her presence around me. I know she is proud of me, and that thought brought me immense comfort and joy.

The Screen behind had my introduction - 

Jaya Pandey is a storyteller, blogger, and community builder, Mom, wife, daughter, sister and a friend.

She is passionate about writing, cooking, music, traveling, and connecting people to one another. She uses Sarees as a medium to talk about social causes, disability, and life as an immigrant woman and a Special Needs child’s mother. She founded Desi Moms Network, a global community that connects Indian moms with Special Needs children to encourage them to be each other’s combined strength, support, and resource.

Mission Shakti

Empowering moms, daughters, sisters, and friends to stand tall, to access education, and to have a fair chance at every opportunity. Standing by their side in creating a world free from violence and discrimination, without barriers and challenges. Women supporting one another, looking at the bigger picture and a better future. Empowering women and nurturing an inclusive society where everyone has access to opportunities, resources, education, work, and rights.

Navigating Loss, Finding Strength Together

 My mother was a pillar of strength for all of us.

For so many years, we thought our father was the strongest and wisest person—and he truly is—but my mother was the strength behind him. Over the past 10 months, his voice has lost its power, his body has become more fragile, and he has been emotionally low.

Our mother nurtured us in her own way. She treated each of us differently, knowing exactly what we needed from her and how her presence could shape who we are.

The calendar has changed, but it hasn’t filled the void. Time has not healed much over the past 10 months. Yesterday was her birthday. With Mr. Husband in India, the house feels so empty, and Anand and I are finding ways to be together and to be kind to one another. Surprisingly, it is working out well. I think we both are kinder and more patient with each other. He’s even been enjoying the idea of being my plus one.

I didn’t want to stay at home on Amma’s birthday. I had to attend a wake and then an Indian event, and Anand agreed to come with me. It was his first time attending a wake and seeing loss up close. The long line was overwhelming for him, but he stayed patient and kind. He stood beside me without his headphones, watching and observing everything. He learned a lot and understood more about personal loss.

Last night, on our way home, we talked about things we want to do together this week. This morning, he helped me clear the snow from last night’s storm before going to work, ate whatever I cooked for him, took public transport even though I offered him a ride, and picked up groceries after work.

Yesterday, I wore a Tussar saree to celebrate Amma’s birthday. I stood beside one of my mentors, who lost his wife, and later attended an event on Kashmir and its history.

"A New Year of Hope, Dreams, and Courage"

I recently came across Neil Gaiman’s New Year’s wishes, and I couldn’t have found better words. 

As Mr. Husband calls it just another day, the turn of the calendar does bring a fresh set of wishes, dreams, hopes, apprehensions, and concerns.

2024 has been a truly unique year. It’s been a whirlwind of emotions and experiences. It has been one of growth and loss, learning, and moving forward.

Amma left us in just two days, and her absence feels like an ever-growing void. Yet, amidst this grief, I find peace and fulfillment. My work in special needs world has been valued and recognized in ways that reaffirm my purpose and passion.

As we step into this new year, I wish for everyone a spark of hope and the courage to dream big. I wish for moments of joyful craziness and happy madness. I hope you find the right words to express yourself, even when it feels difficult.

May everyone find people who truly understand, respect, and love them for who they are. I wish for everyone to have someone who walks beside them, holds their hand, and dreams with them—someone who fuels your fire, laughs at your silly jokes, find melody in your tunes, trusts in your instincts, believes in your aspirations, supports you in turning those dreams into reality and walks into fire for you and climbs the hills to be with you.

May you find the strength to chase after what truly matters, the courage to leave behind the pain of the past, and the resilience to move forward toward a brighter, better tomorrow.

Here’s to hope, dreams, and the courage to live them fully. If you feel alone please know you are being seen.

Neil Gaiman's post  - https://journal.neilgaiman.com/2011/12/my-new-year-wish.html

A Mysore silk saree for a saree sister meet up. 

As I wrap up my first day of 2025, I am determined to follow some routine and structure, tried some today. Including having dinner with my first support system.having friends over was such a great start of the new year. I cleaned the kitchen, loaded the dishwasher and now time to call it a day.

 

The Surprise Plus One- A Day of Small Miracles

Last weekend, a friend hosted a wedding reception for their firstborn. The night before, I asked Mr. husband, as I always do—knowing his usual response very well. This time, I also asked Anand.

To my surprise, I’m so glad I asked because he said yes! I wasn’t sure how to interpret this unexpected "yes." It was a lunch reception, so I double-checked with him in the morning, and his response was the same—enthusiastically, “Yes.”

I explained my connection to the host, mentioned that he’d meet some of my friends, and reminded him to be polite and respectful—greeting everyone with a hello. On top of that, I made it clear: no sweatpants and hoodies.

He wore a nice sweater paired with jeans. He asked for the address, set up the car with navigation, and had it warmed up, waiting for me when I came out.

When we arrived at the venue, he greeted everyone warmly, met people enthusiastically, and even made a small joke about being "Mom’s surprise plus one" for the day. My friends were so happy to see him—many met him for the first time.

He enjoyed the meal, wandered around the venue with his headphones on, listening to music, and posed for pictures. That was the biggest surprise! Those pictures will always remind me of small miracles.

He stayed as long as I wanted to, and when it was time to leave, he said goodbye to the people at our table and waited for me patiently in the car.

Later, since Mr. husband was out with a friend, I decided to visit another friend in the same town. It was a last-minute change, but Anand happily agreed. We both went inside, and he greeted them politely. While we chatted in the living room, he kept himself occupied, listening to music on YouTube.

It turned out to be such a wonderful day. My message to everyone is: don’t give up. Keep asking, because you never know when things will turn around.

A Kanjivaram for the fabulous day. Wishing the newlywed a wonderful life.