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Sunday, December 10, 2017

Time to seek help, offer help and pay it forward.


After my last blog (about Mom’s get together) I got a text from a very dear friend –“I confess I need to be educated about days in your life and how can I help, We need to be a more aware society and help when and where we can”

I have been thinking about it for a long time, every time I talked about Autism awareness and acceptance I did understand that explaining the spectrum is very difficult and talking about Anand and his ability will not help everyone on spectrum. I have been looking for ways to do it in a better way. And then this text again proved my point. We just don’t have to talk about awareness we need to build a better society with understanding.. not just ask for acceptance for our kids.

I am working on this draft, please help me explain in a better way.
Your journey is sure different than mine, but again we are in this together. I appreciate having friends in my life who try to understand what our life is with Anand. Over the year, they have seen Anand grow and their existence in my life is the strength. I wish you all have someone to go to, I wish your friends have understanding of your difficulties and I wish they have heart to offer their help to you.

When someone asks, what is autism I still struggle to explain, I say for my son it is comprehension issue, he has trouble with filters, cannot understand abstract and flowery language, he doesn’t understand when people talk very fast. He cannot foresee, predict and plan. He doesn’t have “what if” scenario, he doesn’t understand the consequences and absolutely cannot bend the rules. He doesn’t know how to make and keep friends and complexity of situation or relationships are beyond him. Unknown is the scary world for him and because he doesn’t get many things he doesn’t want to be part of any circle now.
I still remember the Soccer days, when everyone in the team was running around for ball my son was busy watching stuff on ground, going in different direction and not understanding what coach was shouting.
He is much better with non-abstract stuff. He loved board games. He is very good with chess or scrabble and his grammar is perfect. He is wonderful with younger kids because they don’t question him. He loves to help if he can.
 Huh, I think this description is good enough for now, for me and for you too. At least it gives an idea.
Please help me write this, help me explain what goes in our life. How we don’t have a day to day life because it can change its mood any minute. I want to help the special families as well the typical families to understand our life. So, they can be help when needed and believe me so many would love to be part of your world, just need to know how.
Time to seek help, offer help and pay it forward.

Anand cleaning my car this morning, BECAUSE I asked for help.
Dad woke up with leg pain and couldn't do much. so we explained to Anand how can he help. and here he was all geared up to rescue us.


6 comments:

  1. Yes, Anand is a good helper and good with games.

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  2. Jaya, I like those thoughts you put it on those few lines, but sure carries a lot of sense. We all suffer from some form of .....ism. Jaya’ism, Ashish’ism, Shaji’ism . And we have come to accept each other inspite of these isms. On the same lines can’t we say it’s just Anand’ism? I feel it’s our inability to understand Anandism, we are using Autism as a surrogate word, and trying to make sense of it. Early life of Albert Einstein did find evidence of so called Autism, But looking at his brain after his death, his brain hemispheres were extremely well connected. If he started with a left- right disconnect, but ended with a fully connected, its worth noting the plasticity of the brain. He played violin which involved the simultaneous use of all the four hemisphere. He walked when he was thinking. Walking - left hemispheric & thinking- right hemisphere. With persistent use of such routines he created new connections.

    Bottom line, if one is acceptable as one is ...nature will evolve itself with a little help from the loved ones around him

    ReplyDelete
  3. Keep friends and complexity of situation or relationships are beyond this.
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    ReplyDelete