A village - Yours, your children's and your parent's too

 Sat 8/6 9 PM

A two day trip to NY to see a set of grandparents made me believe in my vision even more. I was in that home for almost 40 hours, spent 9 hours on the road, a bus and a train trip and I am back home with a happy heart.

I met this mom exactly a year and half ago.  A clinical therapist herself unsure of what she needed in life at that time, with a 3.5 year old son and a brand new diagnosis . Her father, Brother and Sister in law are doctors but at that time I guess she needed more than medical intervention. She needed someone who understood the mother in her, not the person. I am grateful for that one post (of so many) she read somewhere and decided to reach out.

The message said -

“Hi Jaya. My name is *** .I have twins, 3.5, One of whom has been recently diagnosed with ASD.. It’s been hard on us , the diagnosis , the meltdowns , seem to have gotten worse over the lockdown . Seeing your posts on  Facebook group gave me hope and wanted to reach out and say hello . Would love to know how you and your husband manage your anxiety ? N how do you maintain positivity. Regards to you” ( it was 2/21/2021) 

She had a response from me within 15 mins and then rest is history. 

In the last 18 months - What I did doesn’t matter anymore, What she did herself is commendable. She MADE an effort to build her village. She made sure she has a place in my heart and life. She came to Boston with her family, insisted I stop  for a quick tea at her home on my way back from New Jersey. Only two in person meets but numerous phone calls and texts messages.  She supported many moms with her expertise. The geographical distance of over 200 miles didn’t matter anymore. She reciprocated in caring for me in my not so good days.

Her parents are visiting and she in a way compelled me to visit her. I am so glad her magic worked and I made the trip. With Anand back home and us going through the difficult days of figuring out what’s next,  I needed to see people who believed in me, cared for me and thought I can do anything if I put my mind to it. I NEEDED that assurance I guess and some unconditional love. They knew so much about me and were very grateful that I met their daughter. 

I spent two days eating, chatting with her parents, we talked about kids, relationships, money, family, the good and bad and ugly of family, wishes and hopes and yes Will and Trust for children. Their love was enough for me.  Her husband lovingly did the chauffeur duty to pickup and drop off, invited me again when his mother comes next, vocally appreciated my place in his wife’s life. The kids gave me the best hugs and kisses, smiled for pictures.

I am home, happier, lighter ( mood) heavier ( with all the food) and one saree richer, a token of  love from the mom’s closet.

The best thing that came out of the trip ? When I came out of the station the Dad and son duo was waiting, asked how my trip was and I got a hug.  

How do you involve parents and in-laws in the conversation about your kids future? Are they part of your village?

While above pics are  my all time love this pic remains my fav. A friend who came to visit them while I was there, He doesn't have kids, but his interaction, his care and love was so apparent in everything he did - This is a true "Village" - Some time we just have to be brave enough to let people peek into our world and open it little more for them.

 While I was gone boys made some progress towards Anand's next step. This was right before they went to drop me at Providence Bus Stop. On the way back I took the train. Beautiful costal route. I got a hug at the bus stop that was wonderful. 

New Heaven CT stop 

Good Byes are hard, Do you see two moneys stuck on the window with 3 more people

 I will be taking this route again

Saree is a simple Kanchi Cotton, bought from Kanchi. I got too many silks and almost when leaving I saw the sales man showing it to someone local, I picked in 3 colors. Wore it on handloom day for a fun meet.