Will you talk openly about your trauma?

 A friend, who is an integral part of my village, connected me to a Desi Mom few months ago. After few text messages were exchanged, I met her recently.

As soon as I walked in I noticed how calm the house was and one of the cleanest houses I have seen. Not in a filmy or decorative way but in a classy way. It had a totally different vibe. 

I sat across the table listening to her talking about how she kept herself away from the Indian community to remain sane. She built a wall and raised her children without an Indian community around. She is grateful for her circle of support - wonderful teachers, therapists and support staff but not any Indian families. She is one of those few moms who doesn’t want to be part of any Desi group.  She will reach out to me, will remain connected  “ at least for now”.

She feels our folks lack emotional maturity and are not good listeners and have no respect for boundaries, personal space or time. 

Our conversation just flew and then the ball of yarn started unraveling. It was not her kid’s disability it was her childhood that made her who she is today.

Mental health was not talked about in my generation, neither an abusive relationship. We have glorified “Motherhood” to the extreme and are supposed to feel that “motherhood” is the best thing on earth. But is it really true? We have seen plenty of mothers who shouldn’t have had children to begin with. A Narcissist mother can be over powering and can push someone to another extreme. She said her children’s autism is nothing compare to the trauma she experienced due to her mother’s borderline personality disorder, Histrionic and Dependent personality disorder and the stigma associated with it made her childhood very difficult. I am still trying to process her experiences. 

Have you come across these things in your life. Would you ever talk publicly about the what you went through with your close family members?

How can we address stigma around mental health in our generation?   

Addressing Stigma Wednesday March 1st 6 PM ( EST)

India 4.30 AM 

 ***Free Event Open to all***

2023 Vision of Community  Conference Hosted by

**Federation for Children with Special Needs **

**Access information, resources and support for all caregivers including, parent, grandparents, foster parent and guardians and other designated representatives.**

Please register The event recording will be available 

https://fcsn.org/voc-pre-conference-events-registration/

Learn more about the conference

https://fcsn.org/visions-of-community-conference/

On Saturday March 4th - I am speaking on "Building your Village" with these 3 amazing women, We met for brain storming session. So much fun. Hope to see you all there. Register for the conference today.