Gratitude in Life's Small Joys - Thanksgiving 2024

 Every year, when I sit down to write this post, I want to create something new and different. Yet, I always return to the small pleasures in life that leave a big impact.

There are many things I wish I could change or fix in my life, but at the same time, there’s so much I’m deeply grateful for. This Friday morning, I choose to focus on gratitude.

Early Thursday morning, a dear friend, despite having a house full of guests, sneaked out to bring me my favorite Boston coffee cake. She came simply because I had mentioned missing her the day before. I’m certain she woke up with the thought of me.

Another friend sent me sunrise and sunset pictures from their vacation. Someone else dropped off a box of biryani, just because.

I’m grateful for a fabulous Thanksgiving dinner filled with warmth and hospitality, a hassle-free family outing where we all enjoyed dinner together without any meltdowns. Thankful for Youtube, headphones so Anand could enjoy his time too while rest of us were enjoying our time together 

Even a tiny dog, knowing full well I’m not much of a dog person, made it a point to win me over. Though he started the evening hiding under the table, he eventually left everyone else to sit quietly near my feet as we chatted.

I treasure the small but heartfelt expressions of love and care: messages of gratitude, funny turkey pictures, and the appreciation people shared for what our mom’s network has done for them.

I’m thankful for my older son’s speedy recovery from his injury and for my other son’s enjoyment of his work.

Lastly, I’m grateful for this sunny Friday and all the little moments that make life beautiful.

A beautiful Kalamkari on Mangal Giri cotton from a dear friend’s boutique. This saree is a reminder of many things. I might be able to write about them someday but for now I am grateful for the weaver and then the artist who painted this saree. Eternally grateful for the friend to get this for me.

Gather and Grow: the NECC Gala

 The company I work for has been supporting the New England Center for Children, and this year I had the opportunity to attend their annual gala. It was held at the Intercontinental Boston, a stunning venue in the city. The event, called the Children of Promise Gala, had the theme Gather and Grow.

The atmosphere was inspiring. While most of the attendees seemed to be philanthropists rather than family members, it was heartwarming to see so many people coming together to support such a meaningful organization and cause. The silent auction items were incredible, with many families generously donating time at their vacation homes for the auctions with many other things.

I was the only brown woman in the crowd, which is not unusual, but this time I found myself wishing someone from Our Desi Moms Network was there too.There are few families in Desi Moms Network whose kids are in NECC. I saw a pic of a girl on a display table. It reminded me of how many families are out there struggling. Yet, it also reinforced my belief that if you seek help, the universe has a way of guiding support your way. 

Speakers were amazing so were the auctioneers. A Family spoke about their grown twins and how NECC change the direction of their lives. I was in awe witnessing the generosity of people and supporting an underserved community.

What is philanthropy for you? What is your cause. My mother didn’t write checks for organizations but she paid tuition for many students, paid her household helpers generously, and supported them whenever they needed anything. Her generosity knew no bounds. In many ways, I am her daughter. I don’t write checks either, but I help however I can, in my own ways.

The room was full of glamor and glitz and as always I ignored the dress code and proudly wore a kanjivaram Saree. 

Before heading out to the city. The sky was beautiful.

Virtual Connections to Real Friendships: A Journey of Togetherness

Desi Moms Network was built with a vision of fostering personal connections—face-to-face, being involved in each other’s lives, and creating meaningful bonds. This mantra guided us until COVID-19 hit. Like the rest of the world, we transitioned to Zoom, which shifted our philosophy. I aimed to make it a global community, and during that time, some mothers from far and wide joined the group and stayed.

Over the last couple of years, however, we’ve been returning to our original mission: connecting on a deeply human level.

This summer, during my trip to Alaska, I had the chance to meet one of the mothers from the group in Vancouver. I encouraged her to visit us in Boston and, after some persuasion, she agreed. Another mother from Virginia also decided to join the gathering. These two moms had been chatting online but had never met in person. The Virginia mom had visited Boston last year as well.

The reactions from their families, friends, and even husbands were hilarious—they couldn’t believe these women were traveling so far just to meet "strangers" they had befriended online. But what an incredible weekend it turned out to be!

We spent two days together, exploring, laughing, and having fun. One of the local moms showed them the real Boston, and the next day, the entire group came together. Twenty-three of us spent the afternoon singing, dancing, eating, and simply enjoying each other's company. It was heartwarming to realize that these women, who once didn’t know each other, are now there for one another through thick and thin.

The two nights we stayed up late, sharing stories and learning from each other’s experiences, were unforgettable. The Virginia mom, who is from Odisha, brought me a beautiful handloom saree from her state—knowing my love for traditional weaves. It was the perfect gift, and wearing it to celebrate our togetherness felt truly special.

This gathering was more than just a meet-up; it was a celebration of friendship, connection, and the strength of community.

  

I have been coughing for quite some time so got my health check up too.

My guests and another one from my town.The ride to the venue was fun. 

and the fun begins.

 The Saree and the woman who got me this one.

The host and the guests. 

Goodbye until we meet again. 4 AM :) 

A Dedicated Time for Rest - Nyepi - a day of Silence

 One meditation practice suggests taking a designated time for rest—free from your phone, work, or any other distractions. This is your personal time, meant to disconnect from worries about work or household chores.

It begins with short daily meditations and gradually builds to dedicating an afternoon each week or even a half-day each month to simply rest and recharge.

But it got me thinking—how many of us actually have the luxury to truly rest, to quiet our minds and not "do" something for a set period? In reality, our lives are overflowing with responsibilities. Even if you try to sit still for a moment, your mind often races with an endless to-do list, household tasks, past memories, or future plans.

Whenever I hear the phrase "self-care," I think about mothers who are full-time caregivers, especially those raising children with special needs. For them, even basic self-care like taking a shower or eating a meal in peace can feel like a luxury. They’re constantly on high alert, watching for potential accidents. For some, the challenges are even greater -destructive behaviors in children, adding to an already overwhelming level of stress. It’s a heavy burden, and the idea of setting aside time for rest might seem impossible for many.

The concept of rest or self care isn’t easy to achieve,  but we all find our “Pause” may be a quiet cup of tea, or payers or simple mindful breath. I know couple of mothers in Desi moms Network who wake up too early in the morning to have that quiet time.

Rest isn’t one-size-fits-all, and for caregivers it might look different. But understanding one’s need and acknowledging  it is important. That is a first step in reclaiming your life.

What is your pause?

A silk saree - Monday blues turned into fun. Got ready in record time and was in the car by 6 AM. This was my way of “resting”.  

Read about Nyepi - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nyepi

The full moon last week - My walk was my personal time

Reconnecting the Village: Finding Purpose in a Growing Community

 A few years ago, when our group was much smaller, it was easier to connect, call, and remember everyone. I knew all the moms, their families, and their stories. I used to drive and meet one-on-one, call moms on my way back from work, and organize moms' dinners at various locations.

But things changed as the group grew, and I feel like I’m losing the connection I once had with the moms in the group. While moms are certainly connecting and building their village, it’s not in the way I envisioned. I miss the personal, face-to-face connections, the follow-up calls, and the effort to match moms with similar profiles, towns, or needs.

I know some have found connections, friendships, and more, and I’m so glad for that. But my heart aches for those still in their shell, living under the rock, and trying to manage everything on their own. They’re in the group but not benefiting as much as they could.

I wonder if this village is truly useful for everyone. For families with very young kids still struggling with a diagnosis or those with kids who have more abilities and busier lives, the group might not feel as relevant. Many moms seem lost, just surviving day by day, while some simply hope their kids will grow out of the challenges.

I wish I could make those follow-up calls, meet these moms, hear their concerns, and connect them with the right resources.and help them find their footing.

Perhaps it's time to rethink how this village works for everyone—whether they’re at the beginning of their journey, navigating challenges, or finding a new rhythm. My heart is with those who feel unseen, still struggling in silence. I hope we can build bridges for them, so every mom feels supported and empowered to thrive.

Help me create a community that lifts everyone, no matter where they are in their journey.

A Narayan peth saree for a Diwali get together. 

A fundraiser for National Braille Press @Fenway Park - the power of community 

Pinkchair Story Teller Reception – A Reunion with a Purpose

Pinkchair Story Teller hosted a reception in honor of the nine of us featured in their advocacy issue. It’s surprising to think that just a few months ago, I hadn’t met or even heard of these women.

We first gathered in July for the cover photo shoot, where we got to know each other and learn about one another's work. It was an amazing day. We spent hours hanging out, joking, and looking our best while a talented photographer captured us in her studio.

The editor and publisher decided to host a reception in our honor. Held in a school auditorium in Quincy, the event brought together a warm and appreciative crowd, along with incredibly generous hosts and guests, and fabulous food and drinks. It was wonderful to see friends and family gathered to celebrate us.

Working in the nonprofit sector or supporting underprivileged communities can be overwhelming and tiring. There are days when it feels like thankless work, but moments like this remind us why we must keep going. The encouragement and love we received that day reaffirmed our purpose.

I am deeply grateful to my village. They showed up to cheer me on, support me, and remind me that I matter to them.

A “pink banarasi” for an unforgettable day celebrating my village.

My speech 

What a fabulous evening! I am so honored to be here with all of you tonight. A big thank you to Marcy and Bridget for making this possible.

I’m truly in awe of everyone in this room. Let’s give a round of applause for all the inspirational women here! And Stephanie, thank you for making me look this beautiful; the photoshoot will always be one of my most cherished memories.

Tonight, I have a question for you: How many of you can say you have a friend who truly understands you? Someone who knows your fears, insecurities, nightmares, and dreams? If you call her your bestie, do you know what her favorite destination is, what brings her joy, does she keep you grounded, supports your vision? And can she read your mind? On one of your craziest days, would she help you hide a body and be your alibi? And vice versa.

Think about that. Let it sit for 24 hours, and then make a list. Do you have an advocate, a connector, a mentor, a confidant, or a fun friend in your life?

If I asked you to introduce yourself in just five lines, where would you start? Now, what if I asked you to exclude your husband, children, and work from those lines—could you still describe your identity beyond those roles? Sit on that thought too.

Years ago, I was at a crossroads. I had a wonderful village, but after my son’s Autism diagnosis, I felt the absence of a friend who could see and understand the vulnerable mother in me. And then, a few came along, and my life changed. That gratitude became my guiding force.

A few years later, that feeling led me to create a village for moms of children with special needs. It was important to build friendships as women, not just as mothers. Those connections became lifelong friendships, and with that came the support, family, and resources.

In 2017, I started building a community for Indian moms of children with special needs. I wanted this village to be more than just a support group; I wanted it to be a circle of friendships beyond our roles as moms. That foundation has fostered lasting friendships and allowed us to build a circle of support.

Tonight, I encourage you to think about who you are as a person. Do you connect with someone as an individual or just as a mom, a wife, or a colleague?

I urge you to build your village, be there for one another, pay it forward, and find joy in these connections.

I am endlessly grateful for my village, my family, my parents, my sisters, and the Pandey men, who drive me crazy but inspire me to be a better version of myself every day. I couldn’t be who I am without their love, support and never ending arguments.

Thank you once again for having me here tonight.

The links to YouTube 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mLWk3r-xnc8

 and 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qyWnD6qp4y0

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