Right after I finished my masters with Chemistry I started teaching Grades 11th and 12th. I was 20, young, passionate, fun and skinny..(which has anything to do with being a good teacher) but I was told I was good. I understood chemistry better in those years than going to school but more than just the subject knowledge I think it was my enthusiasm and passion which made me a better teacher. Soon Ashish changed the whole world for me and instead of career in teaching or working I happily moved on to the role of motherhood, thinking that it was the natural progression of life, and that’s what I was suppose to be.
Being a young mom was fun. Ajey made it worthwhile. A beautiful city, wonderful weather, comfort and first stay outside India – Singapore made motherhood so much fun. Next we moved to United States and Anand joined his brother. Soon I realized I was everything but a traditional mom, I wasn’t MADE to be just a mom. I look back and feel bad that my boys didn’t have the idealist mother. I was a fun teacher but I could never enjoy reading stories to the kids or teaching them math or reading. The “Jump Start” CDs did that for me. They both could read before they started first grade. I did read to them sometimes but it wasn’t my passion. I made many delicious meals for them, took them all over the place, drove them to every possible place, and gave them all kinds of experiences. They have been to so many places that I cannot even count, listened to various kind of music and were introduced to cuisine from all over the world but their mother was nowhere close to that wonderful mother who did maths with them, and helped them with homework unless it was absolutely necessary. Their projects were never the best in the class, and it’s funny that it didn’t bother me at all.
Over the years my circle grew and I made some wonderful friends. They taught me so many things. And I was horrified learning how I had failed my boys when it comes to homework or studies. I have seen the world stopping for parents when kids have exams, how devoted moms and dads can be and how important the good grades are not only for kids but for the parents too. I so wonder how come I couldn't be that mom.
Ashish and I never were in money or position race so our kids naturally are away from that “ambition in life” philosophy. But sometimes I wonder was it right? We wanted out kids to be happy but didn’t teach them or push them enough to be successful. Ajey never went to Russian math, Kumon or SAT class but I cannot be prouder of the man he is today. Anand’s resilience, perseverance and ability to pull through all negativity amaze me every day.
Tonight is one of the nights, a dear friend asked us to join them for dinner and last minute I remember that Anand had a class assignment for tomorrow. I asked him about his homework and all hell broke loose. He just froze and things fell apart. He hasn’t even thought about his three page paper due tomorrow. Oh my! All of sudden our household was upside down. The emotional breakdown was too difficult to handle. Ashish is away in India and having Ajey home was life saver. I so regretted not being a “homework support” mom. Somehow I just don’t know how to sit next to my kid and make him do stuff. I can cook, clean and do everything else, provide them resources but just cannot sit with him and make him do his homework. It was such a terrible feeling and nothing could save me from the guilt of failure. Ajey came to the rescue and we decided to deal with it one step at a time. It’s been two hours and we all are sitting at the dining table. Ajey and Anand watched video’s about the topic and are discussing and writing. After feeding the boys, this “don’t know what to do mom” has done two loads of laundry, has changed the sheets, read something (have no idea what she read) cleaned the kitchen and finally decided to pour her heart out on a key board. Paper is coming along OK, Its 9 PM, usually bed time for Anand but I could convince him that once in a while it’s OK to stay up late for work. I am off to heat some milk and cut some fruit for the kid while thinking if only I could have these friends 20+ years ago so my kids could have had a better mother who could help them with homework.
Being a young mom was fun. Ajey made it worthwhile. A beautiful city, wonderful weather, comfort and first stay outside India – Singapore made motherhood so much fun. Next we moved to United States and Anand joined his brother. Soon I realized I was everything but a traditional mom, I wasn’t MADE to be just a mom. I look back and feel bad that my boys didn’t have the idealist mother. I was a fun teacher but I could never enjoy reading stories to the kids or teaching them math or reading. The “Jump Start” CDs did that for me. They both could read before they started first grade. I did read to them sometimes but it wasn’t my passion. I made many delicious meals for them, took them all over the place, drove them to every possible place, and gave them all kinds of experiences. They have been to so many places that I cannot even count, listened to various kind of music and were introduced to cuisine from all over the world but their mother was nowhere close to that wonderful mother who did maths with them, and helped them with homework unless it was absolutely necessary. Their projects were never the best in the class, and it’s funny that it didn’t bother me at all.
Over the years my circle grew and I made some wonderful friends. They taught me so many things. And I was horrified learning how I had failed my boys when it comes to homework or studies. I have seen the world stopping for parents when kids have exams, how devoted moms and dads can be and how important the good grades are not only for kids but for the parents too. I so wonder how come I couldn't be that mom.
Ashish and I never were in money or position race so our kids naturally are away from that “ambition in life” philosophy. But sometimes I wonder was it right? We wanted out kids to be happy but didn’t teach them or push them enough to be successful. Ajey never went to Russian math, Kumon or SAT class but I cannot be prouder of the man he is today. Anand’s resilience, perseverance and ability to pull through all negativity amaze me every day.
Tonight is one of the nights, a dear friend asked us to join them for dinner and last minute I remember that Anand had a class assignment for tomorrow. I asked him about his homework and all hell broke loose. He just froze and things fell apart. He hasn’t even thought about his three page paper due tomorrow. Oh my! All of sudden our household was upside down. The emotional breakdown was too difficult to handle. Ashish is away in India and having Ajey home was life saver. I so regretted not being a “homework support” mom. Somehow I just don’t know how to sit next to my kid and make him do stuff. I can cook, clean and do everything else, provide them resources but just cannot sit with him and make him do his homework. It was such a terrible feeling and nothing could save me from the guilt of failure. Ajey came to the rescue and we decided to deal with it one step at a time. It’s been two hours and we all are sitting at the dining table. Ajey and Anand watched video’s about the topic and are discussing and writing. After feeding the boys, this “don’t know what to do mom” has done two loads of laundry, has changed the sheets, read something (have no idea what she read) cleaned the kitchen and finally decided to pour her heart out on a key board. Paper is coming along OK, Its 9 PM, usually bed time for Anand but I could convince him that once in a while it’s OK to stay up late for work. I am off to heat some milk and cut some fruit for the kid while thinking if only I could have these friends 20+ years ago so my kids could have had a better mother who could help them with homework.
With Ajey's guidance and mom's suggestion Anand started to research all about Tesla,
I don't think he had any idea how much work goes into a paper. earlier I thought we could do the paper and still go for dinner. Soon I realize it will be a long night. The left overs came out.
He was in much better shape after an hour. was paying attention to the topic,
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