A letter to my mother - Enjoy your journey Amma

It sure was the longest flight of my life. I flew Boston to Doha to Delhi and then Raipur. I couldn't do much so I wrote about my mother. Written on the flight to Doha from Boston ( the first leg) I was hopeful that she will hang on till I arrive.

Somewhere in the middle of nowhere, I am on my first flight of three to say goodbye to you, and I am thinking of so many avatars of you. It’s going to be a long travel; I am told you know I am on my way. So I am hoping you will hold on until I reach there. You have been the most patient "Muntazir" (a person who awaits) I have come across. I have heard so many times, "teri rasta dekh rahi hoon," you counted the days of my next arrival before I even left. "Ab kab aayegi re?" So here I am on the way without you even asking me that question.

But I know in your unconscious mind, you have this question - when am I coming, even with three of your daughters around you. Amma, I don’t know if I ever told you enough how much I love you. You are such a part of my existence that I am afraid of what I will do.

I know we talked about your wishes, your last rites, your sarees a hundred times, but we never talked about what I will do for your morning and goodnight calls. What will I do for the same voice messages you leave in the same tone every day? I wish I had made tons of videos of you.

Now, to think of it, I will miss your smile, the warm hugs, and the feeling of warmth. You have been my biggest cheerleader, and you didn’t leave any will or wishes to replace that place.

Amma, I know whereever you are - you are spreading joy and smiling. Stopping on the way to admire the beauty of the area and then moving forward again.

#AmmaSaga