My bua went to see my mom, and the marriage was fixed. My dad received a telegram to come home for his own wedding.
My Amma was in Ghoonghat (Veil) throughout, and papa saw her only after the ceremonies. Nobody ever told him that he should get Amma something when he sees her for the first time. It's called Meh Dikhai (showing the face). So when they met for the first time, instead of a gift, Papa made a promise: to never raise his hand and always treat her side of the family with respect, love, and affection. To think of these two promises, it is a big deal even now, to treat the wife equally.
My mother never stopped teasing him for that he walked into the room without any gift.
My mother was a very loved bhabhi (sister-in-law) and Bahu (daughter-in-law). It was a HUGE family with numerous younger nanad and dewars (sisters-in-law and brothers-in-law) Dad’s own and his cousins and so many in-laws, my dad being the oldest in the clan. Same with my mom’s side, a very huge family.
Over the years, we have seen them treating both sides of the families fairly. My mother could go to see anyone, and my father would go with her. Both sides of relatives got calls on their birthdays, anniversaries, and special occasions regardless of whose side of the family they were.
One of my dad’s cousins spoke at the cremation ground about how fond they all were of my Amma, how he has always seen Amma and Papa together everywhere.
Today, they would have celebrated their 56 years together. My heart aches for Papa, who will have to learn to do everything on his own now.
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