Amma was a very strong-willed woman in her own way. She knew what she wanted. She would listen to everyone but quietly do whatever she felt was right for her. But she understood logic very well and would gladly agree if she was wrong or needed to evolve in her ideas.
When I left Boston, I hoped she would fight and come out of it, but one part of me knew it was my goodbye trip. I was halfway through when I heard of her passing. I had a few hours at Delhi Airport before I took another flight to Raipur, where she was resting. And that's when it all came to my mind. I had not been around for the death of any of my grandparents or my uncle, so I didn’t know the details of immediate last rites. I knew by the time I landed everything would be ready. They were just waiting for me to say the final goodbye to Amma and hand her over to the Medical college. But I didn't have any idea how things worked.
My sisters and brother-in-law knew exactly all the whats and hows because of all the previous experiences. Amma had instructed everything, so they just had to follow.
We did symbolic cremation, symbolic Asthi Sanchan (Bone collection) on day 4, and then her 10th/11th and 12th-day rituals (very important for Maithili Bramhans - the community my parents belong to) were to be performed in Allahabad, and then one final prayer meet (called Ganga Pooja) for friends and families.
On the last day in Allahabad, while immersing everything related to rituals in Triveni Sangam (where 3 rivers meet), we played her favorite song while the sun was setting. That particular song and Sunsets were two of my mother's many favorites.
Have you ever thought of what you would like to do in those days? How would you like to go? Have you made your wishes known?
A simple cotton from Calcutta for a ceremony in Allahabad.
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