Gratitude ..a token of love in various forms..

People walk into your life for some reason. They bring respect, friendship, love, reason, sense, stability, storm, emotion, passion, motivation, anger, regrets, sadness and tears. Then we decide on what we want to continue with. We let go some and we hold on to some. Some let go of us and some hold on to us. Very late last night I was sipping my tea and going through the memories of this week. My Birthday became a celebration of all of above. So many memories cloud my mind as I type this. My son’s text this morning made me stop and rethink and write about some from my life.

K walked in as a reminder of these emotions last night. Just a quick text 15 mins ago – “are you home right now” and before I could ask further question she disappeared from whats app. I was making my chai in kitchen and here she was, walking in with a bag. Birth day gift for you she said and handed over to me with a hug. Freshly made “paniyaram” and rasmalai. 

K is not my everyday call friend or we don’t interact each other often but she has a very important place in my life. She is somehow connected to one of the biggest passion is my life. Jagjit Singh. She is the reason I can drive anywhere and she is the reason I offer rides to anyone without second thought.

April 19^th, 2009 Jagjit Singh Concert. I went with 2 other friends, took the train from Franklin, leaving kids with dads, hoping we can take last train back from the city. Soon we realized the concert will go beyond the last train. We were thinking if we have to ask one of the husband to come and pick us up in the city. During interval, we met K and she was like I drove alone I will take you back. We were just living in the same town that’s all, hardly knew each other. Jagjit Singh took us to some other world that night and I am so glad I was there to listen to him. That was his last concert in Boston. I clearly remember that spring night K driving us through Rt 9 then 95 and then back to Franklin. That one night changed my life in so many ways. I fell in love deeper and deeper with the man, made some memories and got inspired to drive everywhere regardless of time of the day. Years ago, Viba inspired me to drive on highways, long distance without having husband on passenger seat, K made me a city driver. Her influence on me that night remained with me. When I met her cousin in a wedding in Vizag coincidently that was the first story I told him. Kavitha is fierce, funny, smart and very diverse person but it’s her unexpected kindness last night which will remain with me for a longest time. Last night again I felt the love and kindness around me. A cousin asked if I had a great day, It’s been a celebration of love and kindness for days not just a day. Words cannot express the gratitude I feel for people in my life. Please know you are loved, respected, valued and appreciated. The flowers on my counter are constant reminder of freshness and aroma love brings in our life. They represent you all. This morning I touch them with fondness and thank the universe for your presence in my life.

Couldn't ask for more in life..

Friends celebrating my day.. years of tradition.. cannot imagine my sanity and life without them. Thank you Divya, Viba and Farida for not giving up on me.

                                         The Rasmalai - inspired me to write about you all. 

I am not a flower woman but I guess there are many things about me i didnt know about.. 

Blessing comes in form of a hot tea and not fighting when moms takes a picture. Human form of a blessing..

After a wonderful trip to India Ashish walks in. Ajey drove him back from Airport. 

Blessing comes in Happy traveler and driver forms too.

Gratitude.. Thank you for such a wonderful day.

I couldn’t have asked for a better celebration and before calling it a night I had to count my blessings.

First of all, I want to thank each one of you for those countless msgs, mails, phone calls. I am so far behind in reading and replying. Still have to listen to all those voicemails on my phone. 

My day started with a beautiful morning and Bday hug from Anand, followed by India calls and text msgs. While I was getting ready for work a friend asked who goes for work on bday. I am so glad I went Jit wouldnt have been the same otherwise. Even if I have asked Ashish for a day off it would have been a different day. Not any interesting movie, or something fun to do. Also he would have been bored out of his mind with those 100s of phone calls and text msg notifications ; )

I stayed up late last night reading and responding emails and enjoyed my morning nap in the car. As one of my coworker asked if Ashish’s didn’t ask me to take a day off and go for movie or lunch with him. I responded that he did better, he drove while I took my morning nap : ) in the car. I was treated with breakfast and driven to work..

A beautiful gold fulkari was a saree of the day. I loved being complimented and people asking about my saree. It was a beautiful sunny day. A beautiful card from my team was just a reminder of goodness around. But surprise awaits in many forms. Ashish’s team had a cake celebration for me. I am in awe that he works with such wonderful people.

Whole day it was all about phone calls and msgs.  A wonderful friend kept the tea ready on my way back home. A short visit that’s all I could manage but it was wonderful time. She dropped me at the restaurant I was to meet Anand and Ashish for dinner. As soon as I walked I realized something wasn’t right. Anand wasn’t happy. We had this talk last night about this being my day and I should pick the restaurant and he agreed. I chose Indian so he will have his fav chhole and naan and we all would be happy. Who knew Taco Bell next door can change everything you planned. Thank goodness for guest wifi in the Indian place, he was little busy and then ate Chhole and Naan. It just takes a second for everything to go downhill. For a change, it was not that bad. Mom did deserve the celebration on her day. 

Everything today was a reminder how lucky I am. From chef coming out to check my saree, complimenting and cooking my fav dish and then celebrating my day with complimentary rasmalai..I still have to read so many of text and Whats app msgs but whatever I read I know I am blessed and these wishes work wonder. I am going to bed another year older but wiser and smarter and filled with gratitude. Please know my world is beautiful because you are in it.

A fulkari - a gift from my parents. While shopping in Amritsar somehow I just didn't like anything, the shop had so many sarees with designs and all fashion add on but somehow I couldn't find me in there. Finally my dad came to rescue and helped me pick this saree. It looked so dull in that bright colored mountain of sarees and dupattas but today it was just perfect..

Google decided to wish me too.

 A Bday celebration from my "extended" family ..A cake, some slides and songs.. 

 A tea was in the menu but you cannot say no to Halwa if it is your Bday, right? Thank you for celebrating my day better than I do..

The dinner was a reminder that we are getting old. Food was fabulous but we both couldn't eat much. but the Indian beer made up for the fun. Anand on the other hand had great time with wifi, chile and Naan..

Ajey you were missed.

and no-one has ever said NO to dessert on Bday,

Moms - the connection and support.. what will I do without them around..

I love going out with fellow moms and enjoy “me” time. Usually boys are happy with this arrangement too, they get to have their own time.

Tonight, it was little different, hubby got back from India 2 days ago, leaving him on Friday night wasn’t easy and boys were not having the best of Friday either. I was debating but thought I wouldn’t be much helpful. I don’t do very well when things are not going well, they need their composed and calm dad not the hyper mother.

An organization hosts Moms Night out in 6-7 weeks on a Friday night.  A good 40 miles’ drive can change your plan just like that. I couldn’t make it for a long time. But I decided to go tonight and all of sudden by evening things were not looking great. Husband assured he got things under control and I should go.

Drive felt so long but once I reached there I was in totally different world. The moms come together to share much more than their or kid’s life story. They can really joke around, laugh and uplift each other’s spirit and I think that’s the moms night out is all about. I have been there couple of time so knew couple of moms and met some new ones. While talking about Indian Moms Network I mentioned the need of rotating venue and finding a new place, one of them suggested a place, called “Social” in Newton. Coincidently it was just a half mile away from this venue. The power of goodwill and network. Just like that I had a venue for upcoming Moms Dinner. It was fabulous night to forget the “not so happy” things and focus on “can do’s” and support and optimism and hope. On the way back, I decided to check this new place. And I am so glad I did. The event manager Danie was awesome, she was very kind to give me a tour, offer the moms free parking and not charge any fee for booking the private room. And Just like that the night turned around on a happier note. On the way, back home I was a happy woman thinking how wonderful the world is. That’s what these get together do to our mental health, makes us happy, hopeful, motivate us to think outside of the box. And make us resourceful too :  )

 welcome to our world..

some day I will be able to post right picture not just food.. to show what these moms meetup do to us..

 I am so excited about our new Venue. please help us find more places so moms dont have to drive too far.

  I couldn't stop imaging this place full of jokes, laughter and love.

To be or not to be.. What kind of parent Would you want to be???

Right after I finished my masters with Chemistry I started teaching Grades  11th and 12th. I was 20, young, passionate, fun and skinny..(which has anything to do with being a good teacher) but I was told I was good. I understood chemistry better in those years than going to school but more than just the subject knowledge I think it was my enthusiasm and passion which made me a better teacher. Soon Ashish changed the whole world for me and instead of career in teaching or working I happily moved on to the role of motherhood, thinking  that it was the natural progression of life, and that’s what I was suppose to be.
Being a young mom was fun. Ajey made it worthwhile. A beautiful city, wonderful weather, comfort and first stay outside India – Singapore made motherhood so much fun. Next we moved to United States and Anand joined his brother. Soon I realized I was everything but a traditional mom, I wasn’t MADE to be just a mom. I look back and feel bad that my boys didn’t have the idealist mother. I was a fun teacher but I could never enjoy reading stories to the kids or teaching them math or reading. The “Jump Start” CDs did that for me. They both could read before they started first grade. I did read to them sometimes but it wasn’t my passion. I made many delicious meals for them, took them all over the place, drove them to every possible place, and gave them all kinds of experiences. They have been to so many places that I cannot even count, listened  to various kind of music and were introduced to cuisine from all over the world but their mother was nowhere close to that wonderful mother who did maths with them, and helped them with homework unless it was absolutely necessary. Their projects were never the best in the class, and it’s funny that it didn’t bother me at all.
Over the years my circle grew and I made some wonderful friends. They taught me so many things. And I was horrified learning how I had failed my boys when it comes to homework or studies. I have seen the world stopping for parents when kids have exams, how devoted moms  and dads can be and how important the good grades are not only for kids but for the parents too. I so wonder how come I couldn't be that mom.
Ashish and I never were in money or position race so our kids naturally are away from that “ambition in life” philosophy. But sometimes I wonder was it right? We wanted out kids to be happy but didn’t teach them or push them enough to be successful. Ajey never went to Russian math, Kumon or SAT class but I cannot be prouder of the man he is today. Anand’s resilience, perseverance and ability to pull through all negativity amaze me every day.
Tonight is one of the nights, a dear friend asked us to join them for dinner and last minute I remember that Anand had a class assignment for tomorrow. I asked him about his homework and all hell broke loose. He just froze and things fell apart. He hasn’t even thought about his three page paper due tomorrow. Oh my! All of sudden our household was upside down. The emotional breakdown was too difficult to handle. Ashish is away in India and having Ajey home was life saver. I so regretted not being a “homework support” mom. Somehow I just don’t know how to sit next to my kid and make him do stuff. I can cook, clean and do everything else, provide them resources but just cannot sit with him and make him do his homework. It was such a terrible feeling and nothing could save me from the guilt of failure. Ajey came to the rescue and we decided to deal with it one step at a time. It’s been two hours and we all are sitting at the dining table. Ajey and Anand watched video’s about the topic and are discussing and writing. After feeding the boys, this “don’t know what to do mom” has done two loads of laundry, has changed the sheets, read something (have no idea what she read) cleaned the kitchen and finally decided to pour her heart out on a key board. Paper is coming along OK, Its 9 PM, usually bed time for Anand but  I could convince him that once in a while it’s OK to stay up late for work. I am off to heat some milk and cut some fruit for the kid while thinking if only I could have these friends 20+ years ago so my kids could have had a better mother who could help them with homework.

With Ajey's guidance and mom's suggestion Anand started to research all about Tesla, 

 I don't think he had any idea how much work goes into a paper. earlier I thought we could do the paper and still go for dinner. Soon I realize it will be a long night. The left overs came out.

He was in much better shape after an hour. was paying attention to the topic, 

10 PM so unusual for Anand to be up this late on week night, Tonight he learnt some day you don't get to go to bed on time.

Mom's Valentine Meet.. Thats what we are for each other..

Every month I go through the same emotional ride. Driving to Moms dinner is always exciting and nerve-racking.  Many of them meet for the first time. I feel the excitement of meeting new moms at the same time I feel nervous thinking they should have good time. They are leaving kids and husband behind they shouldn’t feel it’s waste of their time.

It was a little different this time. We picked a new town, new place. Total new locality and I knew it will not be a large crowd. Also, we didn’t have a private room to ourselves.

110 Grill @ Braintree,   agreed to host us in a semi private area without extra cost. It’s a very busy place on any given night so walking in I knew very well that it will be totally different experience. soon after I met other moms and we all felt we have known each other for such a long time. The usual introduction and simple conversation soon turned into our life stories. My condition “not too much about kids, it’s about you” is really helpful to open up to new people. We are so used to talk about our kids and their needs, we forget that someone exists in us too. The “me” is buried under responsibilities. With such a wonderful server, we enjoyed our meal and conversation equally. Many of us were meeting for the first time but soon we found more similarity and familiarity than newness. We huddled in the corner so we could listen to each other, a sight for other people in the room and laughed that being creative is another name of special need moms.

We heard each other’s life stories and found something to connect and inspire, promise to meet again and do better for ourselves. Nine mothers walked out of that restaurant feeling the warmth of friendship and support.  I think for me that was the biggest take away for the night, finding the light by the end of the tunnel, not alone but together, holding each other’s hand and sharing the strength.

Dad and Anand discussing the best way to clean the drive way. 

Because I didn't want to post Moms' picture I decided to post my meal to represent the diversity in the group .

A Bengal Taant for the night..A dear friend went shopping in Calcutta for me..She is my middle school friend

Various shades of a day.. A different Friday.

The sun doesn’t always start one’s day. The happiness can come in various forms not only sunlight. It could a be a phone call or text msg : ) today was one of those days for me. A promise on its own form. Something to look forward to and all of sudden the end of work week sounded so promising. My boy was coming home for the weekend.

My drive to work was usual chatting with mom and sister and keeping up with what is happening with them back home while Mehdi Hassan accompanied in the back ground today. At the same time, many of to-do list going on in my mind. 

When I left work, the Friday had a different mode. It was about choices we make, the wishes we have or what we want from life. what we SHOULD do and what we WANT to do. I can step back and question everything I did or do. It’s about what ifs and why not. But in the end that the life isn’t it?

By the time, I was home my mind was somewhere else.

It’s such a treat to walk in home seeing your boy ready with a cup of chai. Having him home is always heartwarming, he is a wonderful company for chai to begin with. And the conversation flew toward a movie night and surprisingly we could drag dad too. A quick fish curry was dinner. During dinner Anand was a flat out NO for the movie and today for the first time I didn’t feel guilty even for a bit. Decided to leave him home and go for movie with the other two men. Ajey is not a TV or movie guy so 3 of us going for a movie is not heard of. On top of that Bollywood movie. Now I am so happy that we did it.

Walking in to the cinema hall I was very nervous about the movie. After all I was dragging two very hard to please men. But in the end, it turned out to be one of the best movie we ever watched. If you get a chance don’t miss “Gully boy”. Watching Ajey connecting to movie in various ways was very intriguing. I felt like a queen sitting between two men I adore. It was an experience in itself.

Coming out of the cinema hall with both the men on my side I was a happy woman, not questioning anything and learning to live with whatever my life is about. On the way back home Ajey was relating various aspects of life to Rap, racism and identity and most of the stuff I couldn’t relate to may be due to different time and upbringing and experience. But I was happy to live through him.

The evening contained so many thoughts that every one of them deserve a post : )

But tonight, it’s all about dream, wishes, and reality and choices. Watch the movie and you will know what I am talking about.

The perk of being a mother to these wonderful boys. They keep me grounded. otherwise I would have drowned in fantasy world as a dear friend called me a typical dreamy pisces. 

A simple fish curry and roti and my boy was a happy man. My facebook status said with this pic-

"Happiness redefined 
Not sure what he meant when he said - so happy .. I missed home..
Wonder if he is talking about me, his bed or fish curry on the plate !!"

and this hard to please kid was all smily and happy talking about stuff with his brother. I could convince him that his mother was taking selfie.. My making faces helped. He didn't know that his mom had different agenda.

 A screen shot from the Gully Boy movie, a wonderful experience having both the men my side.

#gratitude

The real winner today..

"You look pretty, What is so special today?" As soon as I walked into office the security person asked me. She and many more must be wondering what’s up with me today. And I told everyone the same thing, 60F on a February day and Superbowl win and Parade today was the reason enough to drape a beautiful saree. No one needed to know that behind that broad smile I was hiding my anxiety and fear.

The story continues.. from Yesterday.

Last night the bag was ready, the phone and backup battery were charged. Anand and I looked at the parade map and with the google map we figured out the route for them today. I love travel and playing with map and locations. For the first time I was transferring my knowledge to my son, who, for a change, paid attention to what I was saying. It was a busy day with many pieces to fit and I was impress that he got that really quick.

Going to see parade wasn’t as easy as hoping on the train and going to Boston.

Anand had to go to his class in Mass Bay community college in the morning, then taking the subway and coming back the same way. Keeping track of time and location as the parade was for about 90 minutes only.

So we ran through the details one more time before he headed back to his room. Dad was the only one who could sleep right away despite having a day off today. Anand and I stayed awake late in the night. I wasn’t sure what was bothering me. I could hear him in his room too.

His teacher sent me email this morning wishing Anand for a wonderful day in Boston and telling me how excited Anand was in school yesterday.

This morning when I left for work, Anand was awake. I drove to work thinking I should have taken a day off to go with him. 

Ashish was kind enough to text me throughout the day to update and I am yet to listen the “Anand version”

Anand did get into his class, then uber was on time to take them to train station. Even with Green line having issues they made it on time to Copley Square, saw the parade ate something and with one green line and two bus rides and a uber to Mass bay college and then drove home.

I think they spend more time commuting than doing anything else. Anand always loved taking bus and train, today with so much trouble with subway he did good. It was a gorgeous day in Boston with unusual warmth but apparently, Boston had issues with trains and subways.

I was concerned about crowd and noise but he showed flexibly and worked around unpredictable issues with ease and grace.  Those pictures were proof how far we have come.

A happy son, hope fully has more stories to tell. He surprises us, amazes us and leaves us wondering what’s next.

This Dabu block print saree, a gift from a dear friend, was just not about looking pretty or something special, it was about a journey, a reminder how things fall into place mysteriously. I think that’s what life is all about.

 Thank goodness for 60F.. 

 The Bus ride.. Apparently on the way back they took  a train and a bus and train again just to reach Riverside station.

I so want to get into this head..

 Finally the riverside Station.. the Uber driver didn't want to wait .. advance booking can backfire some times. so the wait begins for the next ..

 6.30 AM photo that's all I could get. the warmth of friendship kept me together.. a blue Dabu Block print.

#AutismAwareness

Another kind of win..

The Sunday night was exciting in many households across united states. And I know for sure many in other parts of the world were up at odd hours to watch the football game. The Super Bowl Sunday was special for us New Englanders. It is one of the most talked about events in united states. Last night Our Team won 6^thchampionship. 

Pandeys were not a sports fan at all to begin with. Slowly dad and Anand started enjoying the football and from last couple of years it’s their way of spending cold Sundays. If Patriots are playing Anand will watch the game. I have seen him enjoying more and more every year.

He has been more aware of the whole sports world and keeping track of its social media presence. Last couple of years it has been chips, drinks and cake party. We hang out at home on Super bowl Sunday and enjoy the game. I meant them.. Ajey and I still are boring people when it comes to sports. From last couple of games, I could hear Anand screaming shouting and commenting on game. After the game, he would analyze with his dad. 

This Sunday was no different. He went out with dad for shopping, Special football cake, drinks and chips. By 5 PM Pandey boys had turned on the fire and started partying. While I was busy cooking and cleaning upstairs, I could hear the discussion and talk and excitement from basement. After the game, I could go down and be there for few minutes and not understanding much will come back. But I was notified that it was a slow game, defense was wonderful and for 3 qt of the game nothing much happened. Meanwhile we cribbed about not so fun half time show. I was done with my stuff and finally decided to spend last 20 minutes of the game with the boys. I didn’t get much about the game so he tried to explain and I was blown away. Anand not only knew everything but was able to explain it to his sports illiterate mom. I still don’t understand how patriots got 13 points from 3 then 7 but I know it was fun because my son was so excited and proud about it.

But wait.. this post is not about that win .. its about which follows.

Tomorrow Anand wants to go to Boston for Patriots Parade.  THIS is the biggest win for me.. My son is ready to go to the city where million plus will get together to celebrate the historical win. His excitement and pride is winning over the uncomfortable crowd and noise. Dad is taking a day off and the boys will hop on the green line and go to Boston. I am not sure what tomorrow brings but for now my heart is so full. We have a long way to go but willingness to experience something totally new.. That’s the super bowl win for this anxious mom. I hope he enjoys his class and they find parking at train station and find a place to watch the big show and come back home happy.. Stay tuned with us J

Now 

Then

Wish you happiness and hope . begining of 2019

Listening to a dear friend singing I didn’t know what was making me so low. The melancholy lyrics or melody I was tearing up for no apparent reason. More I think of it I realize fear finds an outlet and just catch you off guard. I was really thinking about a difficult 2018 and by Monday I was so ready to bid good bye. Had a busy Saturday so we took it easy next day and Monday had a very simple dinner with few friends. We all have been friends for 19+ years. Our kids grew up together. This time of the year they all come home from their colleges and jobs. So heartwarming to see them together, talking, eating joking.  We have celebrated their 1^st Birthdays to many milestones together. They all are such wonderful kids and having them under one roof is such a treat.

Last night many of them sat in the living room. Anand was as usual ready to take his plate and eat in his room. 8 adults and 5 other kids, it would have been little busy for him in our dining area and living room. One of them asked Anand to join them for dinner and Anand agreed. That was one big deal for me. I have always loved to cook for these kids but it’s becoming rare that Anand enjoy the food with everyone. So It was wonderful to see him with everyone. After the dinner, he took his iPad and went back to his room. I tried to persuade him for little more time but in vein. Keeping him away from his video didn’t look good so finally he did retire to his room.

I was in such a happy and sad place at the same time. Kids talking about whole world and him missing all this fun bothered me but at the same time I was happy that atleast he enjoyed dinner with everyone.

A beautiful Sunday morning welcomed 2019. Such a beautiful start ..2018 ended up gloomy and rainy but warm sunshine changed the whole demeanor for me. I went for a walk and got ready. A dear friend hosts the New Year party for years, a fun afternoon every year for me and Ajey.

And somehow, I decided to ask Anand knowing very well it will be a no. He hasn’t been there for many years so I explained and surprising he agreed. A quick shower and fresh clothes my son was ready to join us to an unknown situation. I was pleased that after coming out of car he took his ear plugs out, went in, greeted the host and then took a plate. Chips, cookie and a brownie. He sat in the corner and enjoyed the snack and drink. After that he did put his head phone and sat in the quiet living room and read some book. Once we all decided to leave I just threw the idea of him walking on a beautiful sunny day. To my surprise, he agreed and walked all the way home more than 2 miles.

We drove past him and I wondered about the change in my mood. This vacation week I felt happiness, excitement, sadness, worries and hope- all.

Like it wasn’t enough Ajey decided to go to Hindi Movie with me. My son who doesn’t like watching TV or movie at all went to see a total time pass movie in the theatre with his mom and enjoyed it. I have given up on Ashish long time ago but today I found a new partner..

This day cannot get any better.

So bring it on 2019 – my boys are making my world better and better everyday.

I wish you all the same.

Time flies.. our babies are all grown.

Anand sitting in Pat's living room, I could only sneak the picture from back.

then he found his quite corner.

I am a lucky mama if I can make him laugh.. even now. Ajey and I .. I changed and rushed to the movie.. not believing he agreed.. 2019 got me partner for movie.. I am already loving it.. May be short lived happiness but for now I am a happy mom.

In search of .. something Musical or Magical.

When we all hopped in the car for our visit to the Berklee College of Music we all were in a different mood. It was a gloomy rainy Saturday. Going for observation is not fun at all but we needed to do it so that Anand could see the program.
He wants to go to college to write EDM music, I am not even sure if something like this exists. But what do I know when it comes to English music and its courses anyway.
We drove an hour to be in the city, Anand and Ashish with their own music on. Ajey at the wheels listening to his own podcast. On the surface it looked like a wonderful scenario but we all were in our own worlds.
I am not sure what Anand was feeling, we had been talking about this visit for a couple of days so he knew. He had seen the programs on the Berklee site and agreed to visit but it was  a new place, new thing – the thought was enough to cause anxiety. on top of that program site specifically mentioned the Special education program and I was afraid he would just refuse. But he agreed.
I was on my own, struggling to keep emotions in check.  I couldn’t stop wondering how different it was this time. Ajey knows exactly what he wants but with Anand everything is just another experiment.
Once he decides against anything I cannot change his mind. No reason, no logic will work then. So practically I am learning to “keep my fingers crossed.”
Finally we were there, parked and ready for our tour. First thing was a private lesson, a violin. It wasn’t Anand’s instrument but Ajey thoroughly enjoyed it . Took him to his violin years. All Anand could think of was lunch at that time.
Thankfully the second session was for rock band  ensemble. The moment we walked in I felt the loud noise will be too much for him. But I was wrong, he really enjoyed the class.The teacher knew how to get kids involved, he could pull Anand into participating.3 students in the class, which works perfectly for our kids, Small size classroom. That observation went well but we couldn’t convince him for the next session. The lunch was more interesting. I did see him enjoy the band and I am hoping this is something he can give a try. At the same time I am terrified with the idea of traveling to Boston every weekend.
But that’s where friends play a role. While talking  a friend told me her son is doing the same program and takes the train. I think this is something we should look into, making him independent.
On the way back I was in a much better place. I felt relieved when he said he would like to join it. Time to fill the application and see how it goes.
Anand's love for music is a blessing for us. He could play by ears when he started playing Piano but but soon expectation of rehearsal at home came on the way and he just stopped. I wish I hadn't given up so easily but there is no place for ifs and buts, all we do it move on and find another way.

He refused to sit with other kids but the teacher was kind to come to him.

  And I was  happy that Ashish came, he has his own way of convincing Anand 

 and this was what followed a Boston Burger..Ajey exactly knew what his mother needed.

"Stay safe Mom" a good bye with words.

India trips are always exciting for me. A good break for boys and me both. I get to enjoy being daughter and sister and friend and a traveler. Mother and wife in me can take a little break. We all look forward to this. The trip begins the day I plan and book the ticket. Every year I go through the same emotions. Excited, happy, worried, stressed, hopeful and delighted.. all at once. But one thing never changes. The airport drive, Anand always comes to drop his mom, atleast he shows his emotions and tells me I will be missed. That doesn’t change the fact before the departure day arrives I am told that I shouldn’t come back from India, when he gets angry. The day arrives, I contemplate the stuff I am taking, weighing the suitcase thinking of the back up plan if I am not allowed to carry that much stuff. Every year I pledge I will travel light and here I am back again with the same dilemma. Ashish has learnt to not get involved in this discussion, he used to listen atleast now he just doesn’t entertain any of these conversations. But yes the struggle is real. And believe me it’s the same when I come back. The drive to airport is always long, atleast I feel it. It wasn’t any different last Friday when I left for my long awaited India trip.

I didn’t know what to do so had done the laundry, swept the floor, folded the clothes. When you don’t sleep the night before you have plenty of time. friends came and that changed the tone of the day with jokes, discussion and suggestions. 

We had an easy ride, not much of traffic, we had a cloudy and rainy day. Anand was on his headphones and I for a change didn’t have much to talk. The ride was quick so did was check in. we were little early to not much crowd and the gentleman was kind enough to take those heavy bags in without any fuss. By the time Ashish parked and came Anand and I were done with check in. I was relieved that everything I shopped and hoped to take is going to India. We sat for a bit, and it was time for security. When I said good bye I got a big hug, a real long one with the words – “Stay safe mom, I will miss you”. During the long flight this one thing I remembered this many times. It doesn’t change the fact he was still stubborn and refused a request for picture but in the end Its all turnout to be OK. My son will miss me and will wait for me, agreed to send whats app and will take care of his dad J

Written at the Boston Airport on Friday 11/02/2018

Friends enrich your life in many ways.. Their kids are one of them.

A young bride in Pune meets husband’s first work friend, they not only worked together, they shared the love for music, books and other stuff and were house mates for short time. Life happened and they moved on to different countries and lost touch.

After couple of years now this time a young mother walks out of Boston airport and find the same friend waiting with husband to take them home. His home, where they get to meet the new wife who opens her home and heart for people she never knew.

Ajey was little shy of 2 yrs. and I clearly remember May 28th in 99, a hot day in Boston. A very tired kid after a long flight  but a very caring uncle held him lovingly. It was a beginning of a wonderful affectionate relationship between them. We all got along like we have known each other for years. D took care of our south Indian palate with love and care. Soon we had Anand and they had two beautiful girls. I was the first auntie to hold her. A year younger than Anand she made the world much brighter for us right after 9/11, she was just couple of days old. Holding her, spending time with her made me happier than anything else in the world at that time.

Time flew and we all moved to a new town, made new friends but the bond among us remained the same. My boys always had their love and attention. We live close by so met in town, school and if nothing else, coffee and Idlees were always a reason to drive to their home if love wasn’t enough.

Last weekend I went for their Golu (the festive display of dolls for festival celebration) . When I walked in, it was a reminder how few things sometimes just freeze in time. Memories and love are some of them. You just treasure them, doesn’t matter how long you haven’t met. I have seen those girls grow so it wasn’t them but the way they grew up is amazing, seeing them growing was a pleasure but witnessing them being what they are today is beyond words. every time I meet them I feel the same, wrapped in their love and affection. Deepa and KV have raised amazing girls.

The saree came from Surat, a dear friend who visited me while dropping her daughter off to college. I met her after 23 years but that didn’t matter. But it wasn’t her what this saree reminds me of, its everything that followed that visit. Her stay, out non stop talks over tea, her funny husband, above all her affectionate daughter who soon became part of my life, calls me her other mother. I think this saree is all about the girls in next generation.

Golu is an excuse but I love this season of celebration

Jaya Auntie with her girls.

a memory of a summer.

 Brinda in her element. Summer of 2006..

Ramya and Anand.. She was giving her toy to him.. Such a cute picture