Celebration of respect, care and sisterhood

 When I started Desi Moms Network, I had a vision - To build something I didn’t have but didnt know what I needed.

The memory of feeling despair, helplessness, hopelessness and darkness guided me to become the community builder I am today. 

One day at a time, one mom at a time and slowly here we are.

As of today these 280 women have found their friends beyond special need world. They are there for each other in every possible way.

These women stand by me, celebrate me - Their love for me is my strength.

They come over with food, flowers, cake and decoration, take over your living room and make it look like a party place. Hug you, get you a tiara and musical candle and take 100s of picture and even make a funny “boomerang”. Not to forget bully you in changing in a saree. They make fun of you with love, send goofy pictures to the group while waiting, plan and play games, laugh, joke and NOT talk about their kids. And then they wrap up, clean up , sort and distribute the leftovers and leave. 

Pics - I wish I could share the chaos :) Dont miss the video.

#Gratitude #Love #respect #Ilovemyvillage #Buildyourvillage #MomLovesAnand 

The Drama Video -

Gratitude post - My Bday celebration still continues

I have been sitting on this thought for sometime. Pay it forward and gratitude are the feelings I live by but this year it’s even more prominent in my heart.

Last weekend my birthday was a reminder again of how fortunate I am. The day began with various calls from family and friends in India and here.

I couldn’t  talk to most of them because the day was so packed. 

Years ago when I opened my heart to a few people and allowed them to walk in I didn’t know they will decide to stay there this long in my life :)

I was young, loud, stupid and too fast for their pace but they accepted me as I was. Fast forward 25 plus year they are the ones who keep me accountable, grounded and humble. They are there to support and back me up with all my adventures even though they wouldn’t agree to most of my doing.

One of them hosted a breakfast that extended into lunch. What a fabulous morning it was, full of food, conversation, memories and love. I rushed to cut the cake with a kid who shares the day with me. Her mom made sure I was celebrated on that very day too.

The later part of this crazy day was all about the Pandey boys. Anand agreed to be in ONE picture so we got one family picture as my Birthday gift. He asked me a few days ago if I wanted to go out for dinner, his treat. I asked for a family picture instead and it’s my ONE precious treasured gift.

Ajey wanted us to try something different, a hip place in Somerville. So my first born’s gift was a dinner in a brewery and a take out order for the next few days from my favorite Pakistani place.

Having all of us together was a treat in itself. We didn’t do anything grand but it was sum of simple things. 

I thank each one of you for your love and appreciation. Those flowers, cards, gifts, Voice Msgs, text msgs, WhatsApp msgs and calls, words, notes, the Facebook posts everything makes my world a bigger and brighter place and I appreciate your presence in my world. Thank you. 

One of the mom sent me a msg - It was one of many of those kind - But this one in particular made me feel "calm" I think I needed this reminder that what I am doing is coming back to me in multiple folds.

"Dear Jaya, thanks so much for organizing the dinner, for organizing this group and for putting out this big beautiful intention that has blossomed with so much grace. 

That evening I was so tired after a completely wild play date, I had no energy left for anything. 

But, after I came away from dinner I felt revived. So unusual for an introvert 😂

This is a testament to the love and generosity that has gone into building this commune of women. Everyone came to the table with so much love. I am honored and grateful to be part of this village. 

Sending you lots of love on your birthday. What wonderful use you have made of this life ❤️ " 

Pandey's getting ready to have some fun- One of my fav pic, Two of the pandeys love the camera, Notice the third one ducking behind us :) 

The Big gift a family pic

 I forgot to take screen shot of many msgs on FB/Insta and Whats app stories but these 3 were sent to me

and Finally a dinner date on a cruise with Mr. Husband. It was his turn to treat me. he got a spot on my calendar after a week. A Friday evening well spent 

Bday eve Saga - 3 in one date - Celebration in style

The evening  was about Desi Moms Network’s meet up at Discovery Museum in Acton. I was happy to see these families together . My first born was home for Bday celebration, he was my plus one and the driver and photographer for the evening. He has always been my biggest cheerleader so it was fun having him see these families in person.

The major part of the evening was our “speaker series” date. The Art of Conversation | Cary Lecture Series, dinner and drinks and attending the event was the plan. We ended up eating pizza with everyone at the museum but the drink date was still on. We really had a short window but it was worth it. Very smoothly he slided his card to the bar tender. I really enjoyed the look on the girl at the counter. Spending my birthday eve with my first born is something I will cherish for a long time. 

We walked into a busy auditorium and it was so much fun to hear Meghna Chakrabarti,( a radio show host). She was really on point and touched many interesting topics. After her talk Ajey was the first one to ask a question, such an inquisitive mind. I on the other hand was debating if I should ask something or not. She talked about her immigrant parents, her Indian upbringing, her mental health. While Ajey asked all about politics and opinion I was more curious about her personal life. She answered both our questions brilliantly and honestly. 

We drove home talking about our evening and its multiple phases. We had packed so much in that short time but we both were glad we did so. 

A black simple silk for the evening for an awesome evening with a handsome date. 

A dear friend joined us for the talk, She saved the seat for us so Ajey and I didnt have to rush and we could enjoy our drinks across the street. Such a gesture. I was a lucky woman sitting between two people who really understand and admire who I am.

What is parenting for you? Joy? Struggle? Questions?

 Last week was tough on me. Anand enrolled for one class at Dean college. It was done after a lot of conversation and prompting from his coach, from us. He did sign up but two days before  the class he backed out. “You are pushing me to do it. I don’t want to do that. I don’t need to do anything more.”

I really had a though time getting around the fact that my son doesn’t have a vision and he is very happy with his 20 hours and some weeks lesser in a week job at BJ’s. I am very proud that he is working but at the same time cannot stop thinking of what comes “next”. But for him that is more than enough for now.

As a mother I always struggled with the idea - how much discipline is needed. Because we provided for our children , they never needed to “work” for things. So right now other than whatever junk food he buys with his money , rest sits in his account.  Because he is living at home with us we are taking care of everything else and he doesn’t think he needs to do more. 

There are times when I question if kids should pay for everything they need? Do you make your kids pay for phone bills? Internet? Clothes? Household grocery and daily needs? 

With everything positive some days I feel parenting is one step forward and two steps backward, some days it’s every step forward! 

And it’s different for every child. There is no one size fits all in parenting. 

Do you wish there was a manual for parenting?

A saree for a musical evening. I was exhausted that week but Friday was something else. I got to wear two sarees in a day.  Music helps you heal in a way nothing can. The gang celebrated my Bday.  

A shoe shopping day - some days a small thing can turn into a big deal. It was one of those days. I might be able to write about this fiasco one day.