#139/365 Saree #10 in 2022 #BaghaPrintCotton
Yesterday I visited a family who treated me with utmost respect and love. Cooked for me and packed a lot more than necessary for Mr. husband. I sat there feeling the warmth of the relationship and gratitude.
This post has been sitting as a draft for a few years now. Somehow It surfaced today and the story is still so relevant so I decided to post.
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After days and dozens of text messages ,we had a day on our calendar. Is it with the kids or just two of us she asked? It is still stuck with me. I have never done that in my house, asking people to not bring the kids, and I joked no I want him here with you guys. Actually, he was the reason she was invited :). Apparently this is a thing in her circle, “adult night” it is called. Couples hangout together leaving kids with sitters at home.
She walked in on a sunny Sunday with her husband and twins, with an apologetic tone for the delay because she had to feed her son before they left. I hugged her saying I understand and it has happened in our life too. I asked for hugs from the twins. Squeezed the girl and got a smile. I knew enough not to do the same with him. He was trying to adjust in the new environment. I just gave him a gentle hug and he didn’t fuss and that was enough for me.
For the next hour as the time progressed I found myself in her so many times. We tried to make her comfortable saying it’s OK, this house is one of those where kids can be who they are. And she shouldn’t worry about stuff. It’s ok if he is jumping or touching things but the mother in her couldn’t rest. After some time she could make her plate and sit. While eating her eyes were constantly following her son and I was thinking, so familiar, yes, I have been here before. We moms follow a pattern.
Slowly she could feel at home and be herself . Son could enjoy his time, daughter could sit with us and play on the phone . For the next 2 hours plus 6 of us adults ( I had invited another common friend) could enjoy each other’s company, laugh, talk about our childhood and later days, related our thinking and upbringing and how we deal with our worries, stress and disappointments, fears, happiness and success. While all this was going on I noticed how they both took turns taking a peak at what their son was doing in the other part of the house. I marveled at the beauty of the relationships and friendships, how we accept one another with everything. How we don’t say it out loud but understand. How we just go with the flow . We got what we ALL wanted from that afternoon- food, laughter, music, video games, videos on you tube, legos.
Yes, Honey I have been there before, you are not alone !!
***These posts are stories from My Desi Moms Network, A village for moms with Children with Special Needs. More on my blog, link in the comment***
It was a Basant Panchami weekend. (Basant Panchami is a festival celebrated in honor of Saraswati, the goddess of knowledge)
One of my Bua ( dad’s sister) and my mami ( Mom’s brothers wife) were born on this day.I dont have many memories of my bua as she lived in Bombay all her life, she got married may be 10 yrs before I was born. But my mami was one of the most influential people in my life. After her death Basant Panchmi kind of lost its place in my life. We don’t practice religion in Pandey household so religious aspect was never important anyway.I called her on this day wherever in the world I was. I do miss that the most. This Yellow saree is in her honor. and Mr Husband was very patient so pic came out lovely
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