A New Beginning: Good Bye my Buddy

PS. Wrote on Feb 7th - Just couldn't post, Today I decided It was time.

drove all over -Ashland, Watertown, Cambridge.Thank you everyone in AANE's MNO and then A and S for being with me. The Panjabi Dhaba's late dinner with you guys was a treat for soul,

Pulling over my driveway my sister’s text flashed - All OK, She missed my call and was checking back on me,

I am sure when they see my text and call pass their tea time in India, they calculate the time right away. and she was right, it was little too late for us.

Same with my mother, when I left Boston at 11.30, I called her and first thing she asked if I was OK, Its wasn’t the first time I was driving back home this late, or calling her on my way home. But tonight i so needed the comfort of her voice . My evening was everything but OK.

You meet some people in life in strange way, K was one of them. When I was let go, for unemployment reimbursement purpose I had to be part of some Network group. I resisted for weeks but finally I did go, That was one day they had a speaker who talked about importance of a buddy group. I , during my introduction, the only brown woman in the crowd, mentioned that I would like to start one that day. That day I met 3 wonderful men whom I call my “buddies”. After that day we really became buddies, met often, supported and encouraged each other. We all were from different background and industries. They never had any Indian woman in their circle. All 3 of them brought such joy in that difficult “unemployed” days. Soon I was back to work and couldn’t keep up with their regular meetings, things got busy. But we still had that “group text” alive, we would once a while check on each other

In Aug of 2019, K texted in the group that he finished second round of chemo and we all cheered on him. we all agreed to find a date for dinner soon and life got in the way again. Little we knew that today I will be typing this. Few days ago we got the email that K lost his battle with cancer. All I could think of last text from him. I was always the organizer of our meets and this one time I missed it. So wish I could have just deleted everything from my crazy calendar and planned a dinner.

Today when I drove to funeral home, I couldn’t stop thinking how we miss on small things only to know how big they could be. There were so many people in the room, again I was the only brown woman there.The line was mile long proving how wonderful person he was. I am sure every one there had a K story. I will always remember how special he made me feel every time we met. I met his wife, M and drove to Watertown for AANE ( The Asperger/Autism Network) Mom’s night out. My heart was so heavy I could cry while driving. I was regretting not checking on K for last few months. the MNO brings another emotion to the surface.I got to meet some new and some familiar moms. It was a very small crowd than before so we really got to know each other better. I could encourage two of Indian moms from my circle to join this MNO. I am so glad I did, they did get to see something different than our usual crowd. and then 3 of us did something out of ordinary. I offered to take them to Boston. they left their car and hopped in my car and 3 of us went to Cambridge to hangout. It was so comforting and much needed. We ate, drank, joked and laughed, shared our concern about our kids but at the same time we took some time out for ourselves.

I think thats what I needed, something different to heal my soul.

Today I missed not reaching out to K, but that made me think how important it is to keep people closer.

Hold on to people you care, make that one phone call you are planning for day, tell people you love them, care for them and sometimes just forget who you are and just live that moment. and if nothing makes sense, just go to Cambridge and eat Cauliflower paratha at 11 PM, It will defiantly heal your soul in a way. and yes, make sure to call mom to say you love her.

so defines what he really was.. we will miss you..Kevin