Decisions are made based on present circumstances. We gather clues from the present and try to envision the future, planning our lives accordingly. Most of us who moved out of India kept that perspective, but we couldn't think beyond our own wishes and experiences. Our parents were much younger, and their health wasn't a concern at that time. As time passes, we face new realities, and the pandemic has brought another level of concerns.
One of my friends still regrets not returning to India sooner when his father fell ill, while another still feels the pain of losing her mother and not being there for her.
During the pandemic, my dad and brother-in-law contracted COVID-19 and were hospitalized. I felt helpless, unable to do anything beyond phone and video calls. I consulted with my doctor friends, but their advice wasn't as useful due to the differences between the healthcare systems in the USA and India.
In the latter part of 2021, my mother's health declined, and I was able to come to India. Unlike previous years, this trip was not a vacation. I witnessed the amazing caretaking my sisters provided.
Last month, my father fell ill and was hospitalized for 10 days. I wanted to come right away, but it made more sense to wait a few days, as he was in the ICU, and I couldn't be of any help. It was tough for all of us. When he came back home, I decided to stay with them, as suggested by my sisters. This trip, I simply stayed home with them—eating, chatting, reminiscing about the past, watching TV, listening to music, sorting their stuff, and taking short walks. We took one day at a time and didn't rush anything. It was comforting to sit on the balcony with them, sipping tea, and listening to the birds and music in the background.
What has been your experience with your parents aging? Do you live with them or live close by? Do you visit them frequently? How do you spend time with them?
My 100 saree pact friends
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